Taking the Piss

Ahh, it's Friday afternoon. Between the usual daydreams, two things weigh heavily on my mind: what brand of beer am I going to drink tonight, and what in the fuck am I going to do for Glenn and Dave's Photo Challenge this week (Glenn's topic this week is lychnobite, a word that neither appears in my OED nor is recognized by my spell-checker; fucking bastard!).

Anyway, as my mind wanders I start thinking about sadism and masochism and stuff like that (maybe this story was in the back of my mind...). I'm no prude or anything, but frankly that whole area has always been a bit mystifying to me. I don't like being hurt or humiliated and, as far as I can tell, I don't have any yearnings to hurt and/or humiliate anyone else. Clearly, though, a lot of people get their kicks this way. And if everyone involved is consenting, well then, who am I to say it's wrong?

I was reminded of a story a friend told me about 20 years ago. My friend, whom I haven't seen for a long time, is a gay man from small town Nova Scotia. He told me about the first time he went to New York City. While he was there he was invited to go to some kind of private sex club. I don't recall if the place was exclusively for gays, or not, but as he described what he saw and what went on there it sounded like a pretty weird place. (I've been to a few weird places myself, but this was definitely beyond anything I've experienced, before or since his telling of it.)

One part of my friend's story, both funny and illuminating, has become almost a parable for me, a lesson in how to get along in life. (Some who read the following may feel disgusted, but really, I can't see why.) My friend told me that at this club there was a "special" room for anyone who needed to take a piss. In the room there was a bathtub, and in the bathtub there was a naked man. There was a line of other men in the room who, when it was their turn, would piss on the guy in the bathtub. I recoiled in disgust when my friend told me this, but he patiently explained that the guy in the tub liked to be pissed on, it was, in fact, a big turn on for him. When he put it that way, it didn't seem so disgusting to me. I mean, it wasn't like anyone was pissing on me, or asking me to piss on someone else. Why should I give a shit (hmm... maybe a poor choice of words there...!)?

One question was still burning in my mind, though. I looked my friend in the eye and asked, "Did you piss on the guy?" My friend got a sheepish look on his face and stammered, "Well, you know, there's this guy who likes to be pissed on, and I, like, really had to take a leak, so... yeah, I pissed on him. Why the hell not!?" I'm not sure why, but that was probably the oddest, funniest thing I've ever heard anyone say. I laughed out loud then, and I still laugh every time I think about it.