Thursday, September 12, 2013

This Week in Baseball

Been a while since I posted anything like this. Not really sure what to do with it. Give me strength... er, no, forget that.

So, OK. I haven't followed baseball very much since moving to Japan. But through the 80's and into the mid-90's I was a serious baseball follower (Expos and Jays!). A bit later, my interest briefly spiked when the Red Sox finally won The World Series; their crushing defeat of the Yankees on the way to The Series was something for the ages.

When the Toronto Blue Jays won their first of back-to-back championships in 1992,  I was among the millions of Canadians glued to their TV sets. But what none of us knew (or even suspected) was that the team the Blue Jays beat--the Atlanta Braves, were nothing less than Satan's minions unleashed upon the earth. [VIA]

Now, I've been known to go a bit crazy when my favorite teams lose (Boston, Canada, both in hockey), but according to the author of the linked article, his beloved Pittsburgh Pirates lost to the evil Braves because Ted Turner and Jane Fonda were communists who had enough money to buy a better team (!), and because Jimmy Carter (!) er, something...

Funny how the "Commies" always win because they have more money... (Like the "gay" Giants [ha! I just made myself laugh!] from San Francisco beat the "manly" Texas Rangers a few years back. Say, a fellow could probably do OK by betting against teams American wingnuts like...)

A couple of golden turds from the toilet:
[On October 14, 1992] the Atlanta Braves defeated the Pittsburgh Pirates in Game Seven of the 1992 National League Championship Series, allowing the Braves to advance to the World Series, where they lost to the Toronto Blue Jays, thus ceding America's Pastime to the Canadians.
"The Canadians." Wow. More "Commie" than Ted, Jane, and Jimmy! Doubleplusgood! How many Canadians on that championship Blue Jays team? None. (If someone were to call pretty much any pre-70's American-based NHL team "the Canadians," well, that would be another story...)
[The Braves] had gazillions [of dollars] because of their owner, Ted Turner, a wealthy cable TV maven [...] who--in the ultimate insult--was an extreme leftist who openly expressed his contempt for the free-market system, for traditional American ideals, for belief in God, and, generally, for the very principles that permitted his riches.
 Look, I'm no fan of Ted Turner. But really, what kind of stupid do you have to be in order not to see that he is as American as apple pie? This needs to be explained? Jesus fucking Christ. The only difference between Ted Turner and, say, Donald Trump, is that Ted has a brain, actually worked for his money, and has much better taste in women. (The cynic in me says that Jane Fonda is/was, probably the ultimate "trophy wife.") Isn't it strange that "leftists" are more "successful" than "rightists"?

Why do you guys keep losing...?