Friday, April 06, 2007


I guess, after 48 plus years of life, it had to happen eventually. Today, not 20 minutes ago, for the first time in my life, I got a paper cut. Now, you have to understand something. Sure, it stung more than I would have believed possible. And, given its strategic location on my hand, I'm sure that it's going to bother me all weekend, especially whenever I put my hand into my pocket (to get change or something, already--get your filthy minds out of the gutter!). It's not, however, the pain and irritation of the paper cut that's causing me anxiety. No, rather, it's what this paper cut represents.

There was a time in my life when injury took the form of broken bones, concussions, sprained muscles, cuts that required stitches, bruises and black eyes, and the like. Look at me now. Brought low by a fucking paper cut!

I suppose from here on in it's paper cuts, stiff joints, "computer wrist", itchy skin, and uncomfortable "adult" diapers...


  1. Man, don't leap to mentioning adult diapers like that. It scares the crap out of me.

  2. Mr. Angry, those diapers will come in handy, then... ;-)

  3. This is incredible, unbelievable and . . . hilarious.

    Better start ticking off your final days. Nice knowing you, Kyklops.

  4. GT, thanks! And when I finally kick the bucket I'll make sure that any of my unused "Depends" are shipped to the Chicago area. There's no reason why the old can't benefit the young!

  5. Oh, how the perspective changes with age...
    When we're young, we think about the days ahead. When we grow old, we think about the days left.
    Come on. It's just a paper cut. Get a band-aid and keep moving (LOL). Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
    Good idea taking inspiration from petty things. Hope you get well soon. (LOL)

  6. Usual Stuff, I think I'll recover. In fact, right now I don't feel any pain at all...

  7. It only gets worse, you know.

  8. Hi Kyklops,
    This had me laugh out loud!!!

    awww....I am sure adult diapers aren't that bad!

  9. Glenn,
    Gee, thanks, mom!

    Gee, thanks, sis!

  10. You're the second person to call me mom. Good thing I never had any kids of my own - that I know of...