Unrelated Segments

This Week in Hockey...

... my beloved Boston Bruins handed the Vancouver Canucks their collective asses on a platter. After losing the first two games (of a best of seven) in Vancouver--games which were very close and they could just as easily have won, the Bruins won the next two in Boston by a combined score of 12-1. The Bruins kicked ass. With two of the last three games in Vancouver, the Bruins will have to win one away. The next game is in Vancouver tomorrow morning (Japan time). I'll be watching with a hangover. I hope the Bruins are feeling as nasty as I will be...

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Link Land

--Future events such as these will affect you in the future.

--You won't.

--I grow concerned for your craniofacial integrity.

--The most feared punctuation on earth.

--Top thirty Japanese emoticons.


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Rainy Season

It's generally a chore for me to find anything positive to say about rainy season in Japan... Wait, here's something: Because it's raining, I can't walk the dog. Because it's raining, I can't go out for my regular walk and exercise. Because it's raining, I can start drinking beer earlier. Because it's raining, I can post something on my blog. Because it's raining, you have to read this drivel... I guess it's all a matter of perspective...


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It's possible, perhaps likely, that Sitemeter sucks.

I'm not really one to dwell on how many page hits my blog gets each day or month or whatever. Considering the effort I generally put into this blog, I figure I get about as many visitors as I deserve--sometimes maybe more. I *am* interested, however, in how people (aside from friends) end up here. I'm interested in the search terms they use, what pictures or posts seem to draw attention, that sort of thing. Like most (maybe all?) of my blogging friends, there are no ads on my site. Just me blowing my own horn... Like most bloggers I know, I've been using Sitemeter to keep stats for this site since Day 1.

Anyway, of late I've been checking out Blogger's stats for my site and comparing them to what Sitemeter says happens in these parts. (In fact, it was only recently that I even noticed that Blogger offered a "stats" tab.) The screen grabs below are from earlier today.

Here's what Sitemeter says (from this afternoon):

And here's what Blogger says:

Now, the two numbers that jump out at me have to do with today's visitors and the total, or all-time visitors. The daily visitors numbers tend to be much higher according to Blogger. And, Blogger has only been counting for about a year, but Sitemeter has been counting for about 8 years. The two systems, whatever they are, don't even come close to matching up.

Common sense tells me that Blogger/Google has a much better handle of traffic on its own sites that any third party could. The two services measure somewhat different metrics, but if Sitemeter's actual hit count is as far off as it seems, then it is pretty much useless.

I've noticed that Blogger stats records a lot of spammy-looking page hits. But I've also noticed that Sitemeter misses a lot of really legitimate page hits from actual links. (I'm reminded a bit of Technorati--is there a more useless site on the web?)

I'm very close to dumping Sitemeter...

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Heartrippers: getting ready to rock Miyazaki this summer.

We changed the name of our band...

Back down to a 3-piece, a little heavier, a little jammier. Now if only someone besides our middle-aged ex-pat friends would come and see us...

By the way...

If you're having trouble posting (the spinning wheel in the post box), go into the "Settings" tab and switch back to the old editor. It worked for me.

I don't know if this is a Firefox 4 issue or if it's a Blogger issue...

Hmm...

Looks like I've run out of Thailand pictures. Looks like I don't have any pictures right now, in fact.

Guess I'll have to say something...

Er... Hi!

Quick Note

Sorry about not replying to recent comments, visiting friends' sites, etc. I've been really busy at work and at home getting ready to head to Manila. My trip actually starts in a couple of hours. As soon as I finish an evening class I'm off to the airport and on my way to Nagoya, where I have to stay tonight before flying to Manila tomorrow morning. I should have at least a couple of leisurely hours tonight in my hotel room in Nagoya. I'll likely be putting the hotel's beer vending machines to good use...

And, of course, aside from the regular crap you've become accustomed to, I hope to do some blogging and post a few pics while I'm in Manila...

Blog Tips: Maintaining a Sterile Environment

Actor John Cusack tweets:

FoxNews reports:

[VIA]

You know, this method of posting about stupidity has a distinct advantage over actually writing about it: by not typing it myself, there's no way "the stupid" can rub off and infect me...

TwitBookBog

Clearly the technology is still inadequate to our (or at least my) needs. Too many devices, too many apps. A fucking claptrap of crap.

Let me know when the neural implants are in production. Check that. Let me know after the first service pack.

Stupid Stats

Just after midnight last night I happened to be checking out my Sitemeter stats when I noticed the graphic below:

It appears that the crew over at Sitemeter are more on the ball than I've been giving them credit for. I mean, "visits" broken down into 1/10th units? Wow. Since I'm not even sure what 1/10th of a visit might actually be, I can only speculate about what this graph might possibly mean...

Maybe 1/10th of a visit is like, I don't know, somebody saw a link to this blog at another site.

2/10ths of a visit could be when somebody sees a link to this blog and briefly considers clicking it.

Maybe at 3/10ths somebody actually mouses over the link but then changes his/her mind.

Perhaps 4/10ths of a visit is when the person intends to click a link to this blog, but they miss and accidentally go to a third site (which turns out to be interesting, so the person forgets about coming here).

5/10ths, half a visit. Things are almost happening now! Possibly half a visit occurs when somebody incorrectly types the URL while attempting to come to this blog.

At 6/10ths of a visit a person is over half way here. He/she's clicked the link or correctly typed the URL, but Blogger is momentarily down! The person gets tired of waiting for the page to load and ends up visiting some other site. Damn!

Maybe 7/10ths of a visit happens when, just as a person has done everything necessary to visit this blog, just when the connection between his/her computer and this blog is taking place, a power failure strikes! What crappy luck!

Now I wonder what would constitute 8/10ths of a visit? Of course! As this blog is about to load on the viewer's computer, evil hackers hijack the computer and begin sending out billions of spam messages for Viagara and whatnot. Don't forget to update your firewall and anti-virus software! There are a lot of bad people out there who have made it their mission to prevent you from visiting this blog!

Now that we're at 9/10ths of a visit, perhaps we should pause and reflect for a moment. For this is surely the saddest category of partial visits to a website. You've probably already guessed that 9/10ths of a visit to a website can mean only one thing. Yes, that's right. At 9/10ths of a visit to a website there are no problems with missed clicks, mis-typed URLs, internet or power outages, or evil hackers. At 9/10ths of a visit everything that needs to happen has happened perfectly, but just as the page is loading the user dies. It could be from a sudden heart attack. It could be that criminals have entered the house and shot him/her just as he would have viewed my blog. Whatever the case, the person is dead, and he/she has died without viewing my blog.

10/10ths of a visit: Welcome!

Game On!

I'm kinda tired of blogging right now. Usually when I say that I start back up again the next day (or sooner), but I've noticed that it isn't as fun when I try not to swear too much and/or give a shit whether I'm taken seriously. (What, you haven't noticed how hard I've been trying? Jeesh...)

And hockey season has started.


Go Bruins!

"What this blog is about"

Just for laughs, every once in a while I check out this blog's ranking at Technorati. I see today that this blog has maintained its recent slide into irrelevance and obscurity and is now the 1,121,801st ranked blog on Technorati, with an "authority" of 2.

I'm not especially bothered by this (really, I'm not, I'm not bitter about it at all, OK?), but I guess it's only human to desire a little popularity. I wonder if maybe this blog has an "image" problem. Notice the graphic below:


The first thing anybody sees is "What this blog is about: a bunch of fucking retards." Now, personally, I'd be quite interested in a blog that's about a bunch of fucking retards, but I'm willing to accept that not everyone shares my taste in websites. Perhaps some people might even be offended by the notion of a blog about a bunch of fucking retards. There's no accounting for taste, after all.

So, the problem is clear. One unfortunate tag is giving people the wrong impression about this blog's content (or at least the wrong right impression, or something...). Hmm... What to do?

I know...

Y'all Come Back Now, Ya Hear?

For some reason, this post from last week (on those Evony ads that seem to be all over the web these days) has been responsible for the biggest spike in traffic in the entire history of this humble blog. Yesterday completely smashed my previous single-day record for visitors. (Hey, I'm talking like, way more than 30, OK!? Heh.)

This likely had more to do with the timing of the post than with its actual content. In fact, not one of the hundreds of people who clicked through from Google left a comment, and very few stayed for more than a couple of seconds or checked out anything else on this blog. Of course, the fact that I mocked Evony and anyone who would be interested in it might have something to do with that particular detail.

It's so hard to make friends...

Kreativ Kyklops

Blogging friend Absolute Vanilla, in a display of either perverse humor or the early signs of oncoming dementia (Happy Birthday, sweetie!), has given me one of those blog award thingies:


[Is there some rule that says these things have to be designed with colors I would never be caught dead wearing? Just kidding!]

I generally do my best to avoid these meme things, but since it's AV's birthday, and since she's one of only a handful of people that regularly drop by and leave a comment, and in the interests of fostering world peace, saving the rain forests, feeding the poor, being the best that I can be, and all that other stuff, I figured I could play along this one time.

According to the rules I guess I'm supposed to list "seven things that I love." In an attempt to make it interesting for you, the reader, I'm going to leave out the obvious: my wife, daughter, mother, family, etc. So, OK, seven things I love, in no particular order:

1. I love the perverse genius of this, surely the greatest photoshop of all time (the "DK" in the background is a nice touch):

Image Source

2. I love this album, the best Stones album ever:


3. I love the coolest game on earth, and the childhood memory this picture evokes:

Image Source

4. I love The Book of the New Sun by Gene Wolfe. (I've been an SF geek since childhood).


5. I love beer.

Image Source

6. I love pina coladas and making... doh! Actually, I love William Shatner. Seriously, I can't think of a funnier, more honest, more entertaining actor on TV. And don't even get me started on James Kirk. That guy had the best job in the history of jobs...

Image Source

7. Well, OK, I love my wife, my daughter, my mother, my sisters, the rest of my family, and all you zombies, too!

Sic Transit Gloria Cyclopis

According to the latest Technorati rankings, this blog is the 471,890th best blog in the world. I remember those early, heady days when I was around 180,000th. Nothing lasts forever, I guess...

Rock!

You can make your own here.

Please Don't Adjust Your Sets...

A minor program note for the 3 or 4 of you who drop by here regularly: I've decided that it's a bit awkward and cumbersome to make people who actually know my name refer to me as "Kyklops." Therefore, although this blog will likely always be named Kyklops, posts will now be signed by my real name--Rick...

Huh? Just one name? (you're asking yourselves--or not). Yeah, just one name. I'm like one of those Brazilian soccer players, you know... In fact, if I were a pro hockey player, I think I'd just go by "Rick." Of course, if I were in the NHL using only my first name I'd probably get the shit kicked out of me about 20 times before the end of the first period of the first game I played.

This is just a blog, though...

Props

Blogging friend Susan's ArtSpark Theatre is "Blog of Note" for January 8. Check it out.

Busy

Aside from the "normal busy" of family and work, these days our band has been preparing for a couple of "big" gigs that are coming up this weekend. Saturday evening we're playing a "live house" at The Weather King here in Miyazaki:

The God of Live lies in our basement...

Er, yeah. Whatever. Actually this is a pretty big venue for these parts, and I'm a bit psyched to play on a real "rock" stage again.

Sunday afternoon we're doing an outdoor show at the Aoshima One World Festival:

The goal of the Aoshima One World Festival is to bring many different people together in Aoshima to share in stimulating experiences from different cultures and to realize that it is together that we create and enjoy culture. Each of us has her own role to play in the making and sharing of this One World

Boy, does that sound like a gig from hell made for a guy like me, or what? (Just kidding, guys!)

Anyway, the regular crap that the few of you who still check in here have become accustomed to should resume sometime in the next few days. Don't say you weren't warned.

Unrelated Segments

The Daily Star ran a contest to elicit Britain's worst joke. Most were groaners, but not as bad as you might imagine. In fact, I found this one both inspired and funny:

A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman walk into a pub. The barman says: “Is this some kind of joke?”

A New Japanese translation of Dostoevsky's Brothers Karamazov has sold over a million copies since it was first published in 2006. I'm pleased and encouraged by this news. I'd love to comment on the translation, but I'm still trying to learn English...

Blogs: I should probably do this more often, but some of my blogging buddies have been doing some good stuff recently.

• Online friend Absolute Vanilla has been running a really good series of posts with pics and text about the flora and fauna of South Africa.

• Brendan, another on-line buddy, has been very busy posting about the upcoming American election. Yeah, he's a fag-loving commie hippy (in the modern vernacular--which by my reckoning is just as much a badge of honor as "Democrat"), but where else you gonna go for the straight dope these days?

• I also want to mention my good friend Pierre Drano at Loser's Guide. After a brief break he's back posting about... I dunno, what the hell do you post about, Pierre? Just kidding. He posts about a lot of different stuff (wasn't that helpful?). You'll just have to check it out for yourselves. Before I came to Japan Pierre was my best friend in the "real world." These days he's my best-friend-that-I-only-get-to-see-once-every-couple-of-years-or-so.

Detroit has long been a breeding ground for some of the best rock 'n' roll in the world. The Muggs are an excellent recent example. I hope you enjoy the next two and a half minutes as much as I did.

The Muggs-Motown Blues (Reprise)

Our Mission

You know, people often accost me as I'm walking down the street here in Miyazaki, and they all seem to have the same question: "Kyklops, just what is it that you're trying to accomplish with this blogging thing?"

You, dear reader, might well be wondering the same thing, but what I tell my fellow Miyazaki-dwellers is this: In a few years I will likely have the world's largest on-line compendium of pictures of Japanese soft drink vending machines and utility pole wires. Mmbwahahahahaha!!!

Some people are visibly put off by this answer to their question. Others, however, politely smile and nod as they go about their business.

Moving right along...

Yeah, um... I got nothin' to say, and no pics to post... When does hockey season start?

Umm...

... is it just me, or is Technorati basically a useless, inaccurate piece of shit? Just wonderin'...