TwitBookBog

Clearly the technology is still inadequate to our (or at least my) needs. Too many devices, too many apps. A fucking claptrap of crap.

Let me know when the neural implants are in production. Check that. Let me know after the first service pack.

To Reverse Effects, Take Another Bite

I've never owned a Mac. I've never owned an iPod (and iTunes is an abomination). I don't own an iPhone. And I refuse to buy an iPad.

I used to joke that AOL was like the holodeck in Star Trek TNG-pretty cool, but NOT the real thing. The iPad (and where it looks like Apple wants to take it) is like the new AOL.

The model of interaction with the iPad is to be a "consumer," what William Gibson memorably described as "something the size of a baby hippo, the color of a week-old boiled potato, that lives by itself, in the dark, in a double-wide on the outskirts of Topeka. It's covered with eyes and it sweats constantly. The sweat runs into those eyes and makes them sting. It has no mouth... no genitals, and can only express its mute extremes of murderous rage and infantile desire by changing the channels on a universal remote."

Apple = Hip? Heh, I don't think so (nor have I ever thought so). Hmm... I seem to remember that Umberto Eco had a few thoughts on the topic...

I am firmly of the opinion that the Macintosh is Catholic and that DOS is Protestant. Indeed, the Macintosh is counter-reformist and has been influenced by the ratio studiorum of the Jesuits. It is cheerful, friendly, conciliatory; it tells the faithful how they must proceed step by step to reach -- if not the kingdom of Heaven -- the moment in which their document is printed. It is catechistic: The essence of revelation is dealt with via simple formulae and sumptuous icons. Everyone has a right to salvation.

Watch out for worms...

[Image Source]

Rockwell Retro-encabulator

Possibly the most awesome two-minute spiel I've ever heard for a product. I encourage you to watch (and listen to) the whole clip. It takes a few seconds to get into its rhythm, but it's pure poetry... The retro-encabulator:



The only way that could have been improved is if they'd managed somehow to work in the word "implosion." That's a very minor quibble, though.

[VIA: Cynical-C]

Gerbils

I'm not a tech kinda guy or anything, but the one time of year I feel like posting at Facebook you'd think they'd have a few more gerbils workin' them exercise wheels...

Thank You

The more things change...

... the more they stay the same..

Listening to MP3 players and other personal music players at high volumes for long periods of time can cause loss of hearing and tinnitus, a ringing sensation in the ears, the EU Scientific Committee on Emerging and Newly Identified Health Risks said.

Yeah, OK... Next week in the "news": Experts warn computer chips pose choking hazard to toddlers.

The Shocking Truth

I don't have (or need) an iPod, and I don't want (or need) an iPhone. Suckers...

Windows Fucked Update

Yesterday, on no less than three different computers at three different places, I found myself with no web access. So did (I suspect) millions of other pc users who use the free version of ZoneAlarm. Turns out the latest security updates from Windows Update are not compatible with ZoneAlarm. Thanks a fuckin' lot, Microsoft.

Anyway, the following is not likely to be of use to anyone who's experiencing this problem right now (because there's no way for them to read it), but if you know anyone who's suddenly found themselves without internet access, you might pass it on to them. There's no permanent fix yet, but there are two temporary ones:

1)Back your ZoneAlarm internet settings down from maximum to medium (probably not recommended for more than a few minutes, but it will get you back online right away--or so they say).

2)Delete the offending update. It's pretty easy, actually: Start-->Control Panel-->Add/Delete Programs-->Make sure to check the box at the top of the page for "show updates" (or something like that--my OS is in Japanese!)-->scroll down until you find "Security Update KB951748"-->delete the motherfucker. Reboot at the prompt. Voila!

I, in fact, got online by a more roundabout method. Windows XP has a handy little program that allows you to roll back your settings when you suspect some problem is the result of some alteration due to new software, etc. (three computers that had just received updates from Windows Update was a dead giveaway for me). Go to Control Panel-->Performance and Maintenance-->System and you'll find the option. More info here. Note: for obvious reasons this is not the preferred method for solving problems on your pc (for one thing, if you roll back you'll lose *all* recent settings changes). I was desperate, though...

Just a Momenta

Sigh... Maybe I'm getting old, maybe I've seen too many episodes of Star Trek, I don't know. The image below is part of a PC design competition, for "Momenta, the PC for life." I'm not ready for my neckband just yet, thanks.

The Cell Phone Camera and Its Myriad Uses

The weather is beginning to get a bit cool here in Miyazaki, which means it's time to re-calibrate my air conditioner to start blowing warm air. And while this might strike the unsuspecting reader as a pretty mundane sort of task, it is, in fact, a twice-a-year exercise in annoyance and frustration for me. Why? Well, because the air conditioner's remote control buttons and settings are in Japanese, that's why. In the past I've put on a brave face and hauled out my dictionaries and, through a tiring process of trial and error, tried to work out the arcane workings of this most cursed of devices. The sin of pride, you see, has kept me from simply asking someone who actually knows Japanese (and believe me, there's certainly no shortage of such people in these parts) to turn on the air conditioner for me. No, much like the proverbial man who turns a deaf ear to his wife's desperate entreaties to "just stop and fucking ask someone for directions, will you?", I refused to bow to the reality of my utter incompetence in reading Japanese...

... until the other day. I'd been pondering this problem when, of a sudden, it struck me: "idiot, you've got a Japanese lesson today, why not ask your teacher?" Why not, indeed. After all, this is a business relationship, so it's not quite the same as groveling on my stomach in the hall outside my office in the hope someone will notice me and take pity. I was dazzled by the sheer simplicity of my own genius! When my teacher came by my office later that day I asked her straight out, "how the hell does this thing work and can you please write it on the whiteboard in a form I can understand?" As I said, this is a business relationship, precluding any visible sign of contempt she may have secretly harbored toward one so pathetic he can't even turn on the fucking air conditioner without help. Like a true professional she complied with my request, even offering a few explanatory comments and a demonstration of how to use the remote control (the last, perhaps, bordered on insolence; but it also could simply have been an eagerness to help...).

Anyway, at the end of my lesson not only did I now know how to order a burger and fries in Japanese, I had at my disposal the means to control the temperature of my office! As soon as my teacher left I took a picture of the whiteboard with my cell phone, uploaded it into my computer, and then printed it off. Hah! No more chilly days in my office! Yes indeed, I'll surely enjoy working in my nicely heated office. At least until spring...

Earthrise, Earthset

Cooler than Star Wars because it's, like, real...
Nice work, JAXA.



[h/t: Pink Tentacle]

Low-tech/High-tech (?) Screen Grab...

I don't know if there's anything unique about it or not, but I seem to suffer from a double curse--I'm both easily bored and easily amused, sometimes (or so it seems) simultaneously. Today, in a fit of boredom, I started thinking about "alternative" uses for my cell phone. (I've found this to be a good time-killing activity in the past, devising alternative uses for things.) This was a particularly challenging task because cell phones here in Japan already do damn near anything you can imagine. (I've mentioned before that mine has a setting which which allows the phone to emit the sound of maracas when shaken. This has been a source of endless amusement for me in the past, a fact which perhaps gives you a bit more insight into my character than you might have wished for.) I thought the camera function might be a fruitful area to explore, so I turned it on. As I panned the phone/camera around my office my computer monitor came into the viewscreen. Eureka! I've been trying for months to figure out how to do a screen capture with XP. Here was the answer! And the sheer symmetrical beauty of this solution, somehow both low-tech and high-tech at the same time, why, it was overwhelming...

... as somebody once said, it's not easy being me...

Background Music Makes My Ears Bleed

I came across a very interesting article over at collision detection about how "loudness wars" are killing today's music. It's a bit technical, but not so much so that a science dimwit like me couldn't catch the drift of it (there are links to more a technical argument from which this article was drawn). Basically it explains something that older music listeners like yours truly have been noticing for years now: older albums, particularly on vinyl, have a much broader dynamic range than music recorded in the last 10 years or so. Newer music just doesn't seem to have the peaks and valleys, the dynamic highs and lows of the old albums we love and cherish. Newer music does, however, seem more intense, and is more apt to grab your attention more quickly, mainly because compression has made it louder. But now an apparent paradox comes into play. Sure, the music is louder and more immediately noticeable, but because it doesn't have much in the way of dynamic range, it's not actively listened to and effectively becomes background music.
I've likely botched this, so please check out the article for yourself.

And, speaking of music that's loved and cherished, please enjoy "Supernaut" by Black Sabbath, accompanied by scenes from Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow.

Introducing... the Book!

Watching the video below reminded me of teaching my wife (bless her heart!) how to use a flash memory stick. If you've ever tried to teach anyone how to use a new piece of "technology", you'll probably laugh as much as I did at this very funny clip.



You can close the book now...
[Via Sivacracy]

It's All About Focus

By now everyone has heard about Japan's aging/declining population problem. The Japanese government is on the case, though. They actually have a minister responsible for spurring fertility. Her name is Sanae Takaichi. Oh yeah--she's also the Minister of Okinawa and Northern Territories Affairs, Science and Technology Policy, Innovation, Gender Equality, Social Affairs and Food Safety...

UPDATE: I should have mentioned that, given the Japanese fondness for robots, in the future Japan will likely be populated by a few old geezers (like me) and millions of robots. It will, from end to end, probably look exactly like what you'll find at this site.

DWI: Dialing While Intoxicated

From the Daily Yomiuri, this story about a cell phone attached to a breath analyzer that is becoming popular with bus and transport companies. Apparently there has been a recent rash of incidents involving drunk drivers which has led Japan's Construction and Transport Ministry to impose stricter administrative punishments on transport and other companies "that allowed employees to drive while under the influence of alcohol or did not properly supervise their drivers to prevent such reckless driving habits."

The new system, which uses NTT DoCoMo's FOMA third-generation cell phone equipped with a breath analyzer, is easy to use. First, the driver makes a video-phone call to his or her company and breathes into the analyzer connected to the cell phone. The video image showing the driver blowing into the analyzer and data regarding the alcohol concentration on his or her breath are transmitted to the company and confirmed by computer there.
[...] The company can check the alcohol concentration while watching the video image, eliminating the possibility that a drunken driver might try to get around the system by getting somebody sober to pose as the driver to breathe into the analyzer.

Some companies are using the systems to check alcohol levels before employees begin their shifts, and to check whether someone is driving under the influence the morning after a night on the town.

Personally, I'm in favor of anything that can help reduce the incidence of drunk driving. What worries me, however, is the potential for abuse if this device is put into the wrong hands. I can imagine a time when a breath analyzer is a standard feature on cell phones, especially here in Japan where they love to cram a million useless features into any piece of technology (if I desire it, for example, my current cell phone will emit the sound of maracas when shaken...). Who the hell wants his wife calling him in the middle of a Friday night binge with his buddies so she can check on how much he's been drinking? Now, I'm not talking about myself, of course, no no... It's the principle, the ideal, nay, the sanctity of our cherished notions of liberty and privacy that concern me. Yeah, that's it...

Tags: Japan : tech : drinking : humor

One a these days... to tha Moon!

I'm all for the exploration of space and stuff, but it seems a bit odd to me that a rapidly de-populating country like Japan is seriously planning to build a crewed lunar base by 2030. Now what could they be up to...