Fun Tourist Attraction?

Hmm... Define "fun" please...

Hmm...

Overreaching?

Stupid Stats

Just after midnight last night I happened to be checking out my Sitemeter stats when I noticed the graphic below:

It appears that the crew over at Sitemeter are more on the ball than I've been giving them credit for. I mean, "visits" broken down into 1/10th units? Wow. Since I'm not even sure what 1/10th of a visit might actually be, I can only speculate about what this graph might possibly mean...

Maybe 1/10th of a visit is like, I don't know, somebody saw a link to this blog at another site.

2/10ths of a visit could be when somebody sees a link to this blog and briefly considers clicking it.

Maybe at 3/10ths somebody actually mouses over the link but then changes his/her mind.

Perhaps 4/10ths of a visit is when the person intends to click a link to this blog, but they miss and accidentally go to a third site (which turns out to be interesting, so the person forgets about coming here).

5/10ths, half a visit. Things are almost happening now! Possibly half a visit occurs when somebody incorrectly types the URL while attempting to come to this blog.

At 6/10ths of a visit a person is over half way here. He/she's clicked the link or correctly typed the URL, but Blogger is momentarily down! The person gets tired of waiting for the page to load and ends up visiting some other site. Damn!

Maybe 7/10ths of a visit happens when, just as a person has done everything necessary to visit this blog, just when the connection between his/her computer and this blog is taking place, a power failure strikes! What crappy luck!

Now I wonder what would constitute 8/10ths of a visit? Of course! As this blog is about to load on the viewer's computer, evil hackers hijack the computer and begin sending out billions of spam messages for Viagara and whatnot. Don't forget to update your firewall and anti-virus software! There are a lot of bad people out there who have made it their mission to prevent you from visiting this blog!

Now that we're at 9/10ths of a visit, perhaps we should pause and reflect for a moment. For this is surely the saddest category of partial visits to a website. You've probably already guessed that 9/10ths of a visit to a website can mean only one thing. Yes, that's right. At 9/10ths of a visit to a website there are no problems with missed clicks, mis-typed URLs, internet or power outages, or evil hackers. At 9/10ths of a visit everything that needs to happen has happened perfectly, but just as the page is loading the user dies. It could be from a sudden heart attack. It could be that criminals have entered the house and shot him/her just as he would have viewed my blog. Whatever the case, the person is dead, and he/she has died without viewing my blog.

10/10ths of a visit: Welcome!

Licorice Schtick

There is a lot of strange stuff on the web. I mean, it's strange because it has no apparent meaning or use.

Just tonight, for example, I was wondering why the Japanese seem to hate licorice. My own data sample, while yielding compelling evidence, is statistically small. I was hoping that perhaps there was somebody doing similar work and who had a broader test sample. Failing that, I was hoping at least that someone, somewhere, had had a similar notion and had written about it somewhere on the web. I found a couple of tantalizing leads, but nothing conclusive.

Now, where was I? Oh yeah, meaningless and useless stuff on the web. Right. In the course of my licorice research I stumbled across a site called DopeStats, which claims to track "drug prices, drug statistics, and drug use" in 3,140 American counties. From the website:

Welcome to DopeStats, a public awareness project. Our data is compiled by anonymous users providing information about their use of substances ranging from common psychoactives such as alcohol and cannabis (marijuana), to chemicals like nicotine and crack/cocaine.

Now I know what you're thinking--you're thinking, "gee, Rick, this might actually be useful information." And you'd be right!

But then I saw this:

Followed by this:

The United States faces an on-going drug problem due to the lack of an easy method for the people to report this kind of data. The most familiar ways include local law enforcement, a counseling or rehab center, or an out-dated survey. Neither of these attract the recreational drug user at the necessary level, which leaves society with a very limited picture of today's illegal drug markets [...]

But the real stunner was this:

And so friends, it appears that the U.S. does not have any kind of problem with the illegal use of licorice.

You can't read this sort of stuff just anywhere, you know.

Tower of What?

Today as I was checking the hockey standings, I discovered that I can read Dutch:

Hockey: is there anything it can't do?

I swear, you can't make this shit up.

An actual screen grab. I don't think I need to comment on this one...

Unlikely for Reasons too Obvious to Bother Mentioning

Screen grab:


So, I'm sitting in traffic and wondering which route will get me to my destination the fastest. I know! I'll "Bing & Decide"!

Some People Actually Pay for This Crap?

Screen grab while browsing the web today:


So many questions bouncing around in my head.

Like, why should any person with intact higher brain function care that Windows Live Messenger has been around for 10 years? Does anyone still actually use it? (Really? Why?)

Are there really people out there looking for "free winks and emoticons" (presumably for use with Windows Live Messenger)? Are they salivating at the thought of a "gift pack" of these things?

Do you think if I asked nicely Windows Live Messenger would just give me the cash value of these winks and emoticons? (You're way ahead of me, aren't you, O clever reader!)

Am I too cynical? I doubt it...

Corporate largesse is really something else, isn't it?

What's Your Credibility Score?

Screen grab of (I assume) a random ad from my start page:


"Economist and financial writer"... Not exactly the whole story.

The Rolling Stones-Monkey ManAlt. Link