Cows

[Added: It's probably not very cool of me to say, but I think this one rocks! It's not perfect, but I'm really pleased with this. I'll shut up now.]

Pink and Yellow

Pink, Green, and Gray

Vending Machines, No. 71

Adventures of Jimmy Jones (Excerpts)

He went down to Halifax early, hoping to score something to smoke before going across the bridge to The Crazy Horse in Dartmouth where his friends were playing later that evening. Jimmy didn't really know Halifax at all, and figured he'd go to Scotia Square and see if there was anyone hanging out.

He'd only wandered around the mall for 30 minutes or so when some guy came right up to him and asked him if he wanted 5 joints for 10 bucks. It was a bit steep, but Jimmy figured it was better than wandering around all day, so he agreed. They walked to the parking area, made the deal, and parted ways. Jimmy hadn't really checked the dope, so he headed for the nearest toilet to could check out what he had bought.

"Fuck me," he said to himself, as he ripped open one of the "joints" only to find tobacco.

---------------------

The Indian guy from the CBC said, "OK, man, why don't we swap half and half? I know where my mushrooms are from--man, they're blended with tree fungus and shit, they'll really fuck you up." Jimmy handed over about half of the mushrooms he'd scored earlier, and the Indian guy passed over a roughly equal amount. They did them up.

--------------------

"You seem to be handling this well," the Indian guy said. Jimmy was not handling it well. He was pleased, though, that he didin't look like he was about to puke and go insane. He saw the Indian guy from the CBC clearly, like some kind of psychic anchor, a cardboard cutout around which all manner of hallucinations were taking place. His conversation with the Indian guy was happening in "real time." Outside the cutout, time sped up, slowed, sped up again. At some point Jimmy realized that, although he could speak to and understand the Indian guy, he was completely incapable of ordering a beer, distinguishing a two dollar bill from a five, shit like that.

---------------------

Jimmy climbed the steps up to The Crazy Horse. He was fucked up, but the true horror of it hadn't quite dawned on him yet. At the top of the stairs he could see assorted bouncer-types gathered around an area where it looked like someone was taking tickets or money. His friends were playing, and they'd left his name at the door, so he wasn't worried about having to pay to get in...

--------------------

Jimmy couldn't speak. He was mute. He took a step back and, too late, realized he was falling down the stairs...

One Flu Over the Cuckoo's Nest

I usually try to get back to Canada every couple of years--keeps my mom happy, my wife and daughter enjoy the holiday, I get to hang out briefly with a couple of old friends, that sort of thing.

We decided a few months ago that maybe we wouldn't go this year, mainly because of schedule-related stuff, and partly because of the expense (it costs about twice as much to fly to Halifax and back as it did pre-9/11--there's the free market in action!). When the swine flu stuff came along it was basically icing on the let's-stay-in-Japan cake.

I confess that I've still, somewhat secretly, been toying with the idea of finding a way to go. Or at least I was until today. It seems that this week alone there have been 32 new cases of the (ahem) dreaded swine flu in Nova Scotia. That's pretty much put an end to any thought I had of making it back home this year.

Don't misunderstand. I'm not personally paranoid about catching the flu (and really, that's what we're talking about here, isn't it--the flu?). No, I'm worried about the hassle of coming back into Japan (a country with confirmed flu cases) from an area with confirmed flu cases.

If that sounds weird, well, that's just the way it is.

Canvas Sky (2)

About 20 minutes later...

Canvas Sky (1)

I suppose I post too many of these "here's a sunset from my balcony" pics, so I can't blame anyone for getting bored. But this is what's staring me in the face, just to left of my computer screen, most evenings after dinner when I sit down to check my email. It's hard to ignore, especially in summer.

Anyway...

Another Way to Kill Time...

My first tweet.

Not sure how this is going to work out...

Sky, Moon, and Water

Fun Facts: Mortality by Category

According to the most recent statistics, Mexico leads the world in deaths due to acne (3). It's also tied for first in the category of people who died after being bitten by a rat (1).

Georgia, meanwhile, has the most deaths due to contact with plant thorns and spines and sharp leaves (2).

The United States, with somewhat higher numbers, leads the world in death by explosion (197), and is tied with Japan for the most deaths caused by falling off a cliff (82). (The US and Japan are also ranked highly in the related categories of falling down the stairs, falling out of bed, and falling from a tree.) Japan is the runaway leader in death by falling on same level from slipping, tripping and stumbling (3,269). In case anyone is getting the wrong idea, this could simply be the result of bad luck, since both countries are also leaders in death due to being struck by thrown, projected, or falling objects.

I could look at this stuff all day...

Dark Water

I Am Iron Man

You know how when you put your mouth up close to an electric fan, and then speak into it, it makes your voice sound kinda machine-like? This might sound weird, but whenever I'm in that situation I can't resist the urge to say, "I Am Iron Man."

I hesitate to say how much doing this pleases me and, to be honest, I have a hard time identifying with anyone whose first words into a fan wouldn't be "I Am Iron Man."

I mean, what, you wanna quote Shakespeare or something?

Black Sabbath-Iron ManAlt. Link

Yeah.

Apartment

Yesterday Evening