Poet Statesman...

From my recently-met friend, Chez, at Smells Like White Spirit. I give you the President of the United States of America, poet statesman:



MAKE THE PIE HIGHER
by George W. Bush


I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It's a world of madmen and uncertainty
and potential mental losses.

Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the Internet become more few?
How many hands have I shaked?

They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
I know that the human being and the fish can coexist.
Families is where our nation finds hope, where our wings take dream.

Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize society!
Make the pie higher! Make the pie higher!

Hell Hath No Fury...

I had a date like this once...



Ouch!!

No Comment...

I believe the following items speak for themselves...

From John Rogers at Kung Fu Monkey:

Ironically, any halfway decent screenwriter/director pair could have made that mini-series [The Path to 9/11] and made Clinton look like an ass without inventing anything at all -- but that would have required a talent for subtlety evident in a level of professionalism that would make writing propoganda ... distasteful.

From, ahem, Hermann Goering [G.M. Gilbert: Nuremberg Diary, 1947; pp. 278-279]

Why, of course, the people don't want war. Why would some poor slob on a farm want to risk his life in a war when the best that he can get out of it is to come back to his farm in one piece. Naturally, the common people don't want war; neither in Russia nor in England nor in America, nor for that matter in Germany. That is understood. But, after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy or a fascist dictatorship or a Parliament or a Communist dictatorship.
[...] Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country.

From Keith Olbermann (via Poor Man):

'Car Queen'

This car shop sign caught my eye as I was driving by it the other day. I can't decide if there's something odd about naming your shop 'Car Queen', or if there's something odd about me for thinking it's odd. I don't think I'd want to buy a car, or get my car fixed, at a place called Car Queen. Gentle readers, do you think I'm a little sexist, or even homophobic for feeling this way?
And some of the cars they had? Well, I can't imagine your typical hetero-guy --and indeed, if you ask anyone, "Hey, what's that Kyklops guy like?", they'll tell you staight out, "Oh, you know, he's a typical hetero-guy...")... Anyway, I can't imagine your typical hetero-guy wanting to get behind the wheel of some of the cars they had for sale at this place. I mean, really, a Honda 'Life Dunk'? Isuzu's 'Mysterious Utility'? Mitsubishi's 'Delica Space Gear'? And the list goes on: from Toyota there's the 'Nadia' and the 'Gaia', and Mazda has the 'Bongo Friendee' (I hope I never see the day when I say to my friends, "Hey, let's hop in my Bongo Friendee and go downtown to watch the girls!" [shivers]).
[Note: Readers from outside Japan can verify that I'm not inventing these car names here and here. Readers in Japan know the horror all too well...]

It's a Boy...

Princess Kiko, the wife of Prince Akishino, the Emperor's second son, gave birth to a boy Wednesday morning, a long-awaited male heir to the Chrysanthemum Throne.
The baby, delivered by Cesarean section, is the first male born to the Imperial family in 41 years and becomes the third in line to the throne after Crown Prince Naruhito, 46, and Prince Akishino, 40.
The birth will put off the succession crisis facing the Imperial family for a while.

I wasn't going to write about this story at all because, frankly, I find the notions of 'royalty', 'aristocracy', 'divine right', 'imperial succession', etc. both morally repugnant and logically absurd. Any particular monarch might not necessarily be a bad person, but we can be pretty certain, if we go back far enough in the family line, his/her ancestors would most likely be considered homicidal maniacs in modern society. Why anyone should be proud that his/her ancestors did more killing, raping, and stealing than mine or yours is a bit beyond my understanding... Anyway, having got that out of the way, this story is not completely without interest.

Conservative elements in Japan are no doubt relieved that Princess Kiko had a boy. The current system of succession does not allow women to inherit the throne but, until yesterday, it had been 41 years since a male was born into the royal family. Last year a panel convened by Prime Minister Koizumi recommended that the laws be changed to allow women and their children to ascend to the throne. News of Princess Kiko's pregnancy put off the introduction of a bill to parliament. Conservatives argue that male-only succession, to ensure the 'purity of the male bloodline' (ie.the Y chromosome), is the throne's defining characteristic. In order to prevent a woman from becoming monarch, conservatives proposed bringing back other branches of the imperial family (which were abolished after World War II), and even went so far as suggesting a revival of the concubine system.

Most Japanese, while happy that the new baby is healthy, remain divided over whether to revise the Imperial House Law to allow females to take the Chrysanthemum Throne. Many people appear to be concerned about the effects recent events might have on Princess Masako, wife of the current royal heir, Prince Naruhito. By all accounts an intelligent and articulate woman, the Harvard-educated Masako gave up her career as a diplomat to marry Naruhito and join the royal family. The pressure on Masako to bear a son, however, pushed her into depression and provoked Naruhito to publicly defend his wife (almost unheard of in Japan). It was the birth of their daughter Aiko that initially prompted lawmakers, with a lot of public support, to begin looking into changing the rules of succession.

It's perhaps not surprising that the issue of royal succession is illustrative of one aspect of the conservative/progressive divide in Japan. One interesting point, though, does seem to be emerging. While conservatives are clearly happy about the birth of a male heir, Prince Akishino and Princess Kiko appear to be actively courting and winning favor with Japan's more conservative elements. Crown Prince Naruhito and Princess Masako, on the other hand, apparently have the sympathy of younger, more progressive-minded Japanese. Whether or not this leads to increased politicization of the throne, from within the royal family, it's really too early to say.

Giant Girl Doll

A little eerie, but compelling nonetheless... [via Goldtoe]

Japan and Canada...

...join hands against South Korea... This kinda jumped off the page at me. According to the article, from the Bahrain News Agency, "Japan and Canada agreed on joining efforts to help halt South Korea's nuclear and missile development programme."
[This headline will probably be fixed by the time anyone reads this post, but I swear, that's what it said...]

This Site Is 36% Evil

(Something seems to have drained what little creative energy I might previously have possessed. I can't even rouse myself to a mid-level rant about something Japanese these days. So, to pass the time, and to engage in some 'therapeutic' typing, I'll content myself with a little linkwhoring. The following via the nonist.)

From The Sect of Homokaasu, the Gematriculator:

The Gematriculator is a service that uses the infallible methods of Gematria developed by Mr. Ivan Panin to determine how good or evil a web site or a text passage is.
Basically, Gematria is searching for different patterns through the text [...]
Experts consider the mathematical patterns in the text of the Holy Bible as God's watermark of authenticity. Thus, the Gematriculator provides only results that are absolutely correct.

Use the Gematriculator to rate the 'evil-ness' of your site! Just enter a URL and, presto!, you have your results. "Wasn't that fun? Now waste your time by killing everyone!"

Graveblogging

I guess it could be argued that a site like Find A Grave probably has some utility as a reference source ("Millions of Cemetery Records and Online Memorials"), but personally I think it's more interested in pandering to a morbid fascination with celebrity. The most popular searches at the time of this writing include some unsurprising results:
Number One: JonBenet Ramsey (I refuse to link to this because, well, I like to think that I have some sense of decency. If I seem a trifle self-important, too fucking bad...)
Other 'Celebrities' in the Top 20: Ingrid Bergman (2); Hedy Lamarr (3); Lee Marvin (!) (5); Jim Morrison (15); Diana Spencer (16);
Surprisingly (to me, at least) coming in at number 6 is Saint John the Baptist.
The photo (click for larger view) is from the gravesite of my favorite poet, John Keats (this is a good place to start if you're unfamiliar with Keats' life and poetry). The inscription at the bottom of the gravestone reads, "Here lies one whose name was writ in water". This was what Keats requested shortly before his death, at the age of 25. The words above this were written after Keats' death by a friend who was bitter about how the young poet's life turned out.

This Living Hand

This living hand, now warm and capable
Of earnest grasping, would, if it were cold
And in the icy silence of the tomb,
So haunt thy days and chill thy dreaming nights
That thou wouldst wish thine own heart dry of blood
So in my veins red life might stream again,
And thou be conscience-calmed—see here it is—
I hold it towards you.

--John Keats 1819

Dork with a Camera

This is a picture of a dork with a camera, taken in the parking area outside the condo said dork lives in. Like the Delphic Oracle, Socrates, et al, I've always felt that self-awareness is the key to knowledge. I know I'm a dork, so it's ok...

Sunset

I haven't really felt like writing much the past couple of weeks, so I thought I'd post a photo. I don't post many of my own photos because I'm not much of a photographer, but once and a while I get lucky and spot something interesting like the cloud formation in this Miyazaki sunset. Not the highest quality pic because it was taken with my cell phone.

I'll be back soon...

To the few friends who regularly drop by my humble blog: I've been really busy lately and just returned from a conference in beautiful Fukuoka. Now I'm going away for a couple of days with my family to a nearby resort area in Kirishima. The time away from my pc and my blog is taking it's toll, but like Arnold says in The Terminator: "I'll be back."

These are a few of the things I like about...

... living in Miyazaki, Japan.
I like that I don't have to worry about some idiot stealing anything I don't nail to the wall or keep under 24-hour surveillance. A bicycle is safe with a simple wheel lock; my wife can go to the washroom and leave her purse on the table (which I still discourage); I have forgotten my camera somewhere and gone back to find it was still there.
I like that I don't have to pay an arm and a leg for a pack of smokes and/or a beer.
I like that, in eight years here, I have never heard one negative racial comment directed my way (well, except for being mistaken for American...heh!); my half-euro/Japanese daughter is accepted and treated like the future queen of Japan.
I like that I don't have to argue with anyone about Quebec.
I like that I don't have to argue with anyone about religion (Japan is a good place for atheists, although skeptics (like me) may have a harder time--there will be a more serious post about this in the future...).
I like (and I might as well be honest about it) that the simple fact that I'm an educated English-speaking person has allowed me to get good jobs here.
I like that I have a great wife and a beautiful daughter; I like that they have made me (I think) a better man.
Japan has been good to me...

Keystone Kops

I guess that people around the world all have different ideas about what makes a 'good cop'. Probably for most of us a good cop is one who protects the innocent and catches the bad guys. In North America people are becoming quite used to seeing examples of police brutality on TV. Stories of police corruption also seem to be more common these days. I'm not really sure how the average Japanese feels about the police here.
In the video below is the most shocking spectacle of bad police behaviour I have ever seen. North Americans in particular may not be able to believe what they are seeing. The following video is from a Japanese news broadcast and is in Japanese, so let me set it up a little (details in English here): a car has left the road and smashed into some sort of structure; rescue workers are trying to help the driver, who seems to be a bit unhinged; the driver seems to go a bit crazy and starts smashing up the inside of his car; the police arrive; the man gets out of his car and moves toward the police brandishing some sort of club... What follows will shock and astound you...



I couldn't quite believe my eyes when I first saw this...

Comment Verification

Well, I guess it had to happen sooner or later. There's been a spike in the number of spam messages in the comments section, so I've enabled the "Comment Verification" device (it's not like I get a gajillion comments anyway, but this week I got more spam than real comments...). Anyway, sorry for the inconvenience.
[And please, no "I told you so"s from the wordpress crowd, or I'll have to start moderating comments as well!]

Go and sin no more...

Whether you're religious or not, whether you have kids or not, you will probably be amused (and you may even laugh out loud) when you read Old Testament Parenting: 'Lamentations of the Father'. Some excerpts:

Laws When at Table

Eat your food only; do not eat that which is not food; neither seize the table between your jaws, nor use the raiment of the table to wipe your lips. I say again to you, do not touch it, but leave it as it is.

And though your stick of carrot does indeed resemble a marker, draw not with it upon the table, even in pretend, for we do not do that, that is why. And though the pieces of broccoli are very like small trees, do not stand them upright to make a forest, because we do not do that,that is why.

Sit just as I have told you, and do not lean to one side or the other, nor slide down until you are nearly slid away. Heed me; for if you sit like that, your hair will go into the syrup. And now behold, even as I have said, it has come to pass.

Laws Pertaining to Dessert

But of the unclean plate, the laws are these: If you have eaten most of your meat, and two bites of your peas with each bite consisting of not less than three peas each, or in total six peas, eaten where I can see, and you have also eaten enough of your potatoes to fill two forks, both forkfuls eaten where I can see, then you shall have dessert.

On Screaming

[...] if you receive a portion of fish from which every piece of herbal seasoning has not been scraped off, and the herbal seasoning is loathsome to you and steeped in vileness, again I say, refrain from screaming. Though the vileness overwhelm you, and cause you a faint unto death, make not that sound from within your throat, neither cover your face, nor press your fingers to your nose. For even I have made the fish as it should be; behold, I eat it myself, yet shall not surely die.

Various Other Laws, Statutes, and Ordinances

Bite not, lest you be also bitten again. Neither drink of your own bath water, nor of the bath water of any kind; nor rub your feet on bread, even if it be in the package; nor rub yourself against cars, not against any building; nor eat sand.

[Hat tip: God of the Machine; via: Volokh Conspiracy]

[Addendum: My daughter has been free of her father's "lamentations" these past two weeks because she's been away at her grandparents' place having the time of her life playing with her cousin (whom she has a huge crush on--she's not quite 4, he's 9 and has the patience of Job...). I realized while chuckling over this piece that I was actually laughing at myself...]

Mutually Assured Drunk Driving

Maybe it's exhaustion from grading end of term tests and papers (terms here run April-July, October-January). Maybe it's the heat. Maybe it's a 'dog days' combination of the two. I dunno. I've started several interesting, informative and insightful (heh) articles on various topics related to Japan but, for now at least, they're languishing as 'drafts'. I don't have the mental energy right now to do a proper job on them (and I'm working a deadline to finish a presentation I have to give next week). Sunday was the 61st anniversary of the atomic bombing of Hiroshima, and I had planned to write something about it. I guess it'll wait until next year... While researching said article, however, I came upon a rather amusing quote.
In an article attempting to justify American use of the atomic bomb, the writer refers to Japan's attempt to make atomic bombs during the war, and then makes the following rather comical comment:

Had we [the US] tried the invasion route, it is entirely possible that Japan might have been able to complete a bomb and use it on us. MADD would not have sufficed to prevent it because Japan had absolutely nothing to loose by using it.
[I haven't altered this quote, and if you check the link, you'll see that there's an 'editorial' note informing us that the article was originally posted to the site one year ago...]

Now, clearly Mothers Against Drunk Driving could not have prevented the Japanese from loosing their atomic bombs. But they didn't have any, so yes, "Japan had absolutely nothing to loose". (Right about now I feel like my brain is turning into a Moebius strip.) In fact, MADD, as an organization, didn't even exist that long ago (although it must be granted that an early form of MAD did).
So, clearly, Japan had everything to lose by having nothing to loose, and America was the winner because it was the looser. And that's the story of Hiroshima...

One a these days... to tha Moon!

I'm all for the exploration of space and stuff, but it seems a bit odd to me that a rapidly de-populating country like Japan is seriously planning to build a crewed lunar base by 2030. Now what could they be up to...

God of the Machine

Wow. And I mean, wow.

Smokin' Fool

Yes, I'm a smoker. I've tried many times to give up cigarettes, but I can't do it. I'm weak. I'm a slave to an evil, filthy habit. Living in Japan, it's even more difficult to quit, because Japan is, well, smoker's heaven! A pack of smokes costs just 320 yen (about 3-4 dollars, depending on where you live), and that's after a recent tax hike, which resulted in Japan Tobacco, the world's third largest cigarette company, recording a 60 percent rise in profits in the most recent quarter. Of course the government (like all governments) pays careful lip service to educating people about the dangers of smoking, but the fact is that smokes are a major money cow for governments. Heh, the Japanese government is actually the biggest shareholder in Japan Tobacco (it holds 67.77 percent of issued stock).
Anyway, the Japanese are nothing if not polite, so I've included a couple of nifty graphics from a series sponsored by Japan Tobacco on smoking etiquette. [Very odd. I originally had a link to the Japan Tobacco site here, but just after posting this it went down...]

The 'Audio-Lingual' Method: Survival English

I think the video below is meant as a parody, but it's so close to the reality of teaching English at many conversation schools here in Japan (and elsewhere) that I can't really be sure. It actually looks like a lot of 'learn English' TV shows I've seen here.
[Courtesy Harry at Chase Me, Ladies; (via Dog Bones)]



Yes, in many places that would constitute an English lesson: 'useful' expressions, 'realistic' situataions, singing, dancing...

Damn Blogger, Anyway!!

I can't upload any images...

Stop the Lies

The 'myth':

Consistently, from the Hezbollah heartland, my message was that Hezbollah must stop this cowardly blending . . . among women and children...
Jan Egeland, UN head of humanitarian affairs

Something probably closer to the 'truth':

Hezbollah fighters [...] avoid civilians like the plague. Much smarter and better trained than the PLO and Hamas fighters, they know that if they mingle with civilians, they will sooner or later be betrayed by collaborators -- as so many Palestinian militants have been.
Mitch Prothero (link via Informed Comment)

Here I am! Kill me, please!

The implication of Egeland’s cowardly statement seems to be that any Lebanese fighter, or Palestinian one, resisting Israel and its powerful military should stand in an open field, his rifle raised to the sky, waiting to see who fares worse in a shoot-out with an Apache helicopter or F-16 fighter jet. Hizbullah’s reluctance to conduct the war in this manner, we are supposed to infer, is proof that they are terrorists.
Jonathan Cook

Is it live, or is it Memorex?

My good friend Pierre over at Loser's Guide posted this interesting comment today about a movie review he read at Salon (the name of this Tunisian movie is Satin Rouge). Pierre informs us that the review "... dutifully belabours the fact that many Tunisians are Muslim [...] even though this movie is about friendship, middle age and loneliness," and then presents us with this little chestnut of a quote (with "righteous parentheses"!):

(Even if Islam as a religion doesn't necessarily preach misogyny, if one of its cultural interpretations is that a woman should be sentenced to death by stoning for having a child out of wedlock, there's no other word to use.)

Now let me quote Pierre:

I don't know. What do you call a religion that demands the death penalty thusly (Deuteronomy 22:20-21):

But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel:

Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die.

As Pierre informs us, "And there's a lot more where that came from."
And then we have this story from Media Matters for America (link via SIVACRACY):

For the second time in three days, CNN featured a segment on the potential coming of the Apocalypse, as indicated by current conflicts in the Middle East. The July 26 edition of CNN's Live From ... featured a nine-minute segment in which anchor Kyra Phillips discussed the Apocalypse and the Middle East with Christian authors Jerry Jenkins and Joel C. Rosenberg -- who share the view that the Rapture is nigh. At one point in the discussion, Phillips asked Rosenberg whether she needed "to start taking care of unfinished business and telling people that I love them and I'm sorry for all the evil things I've done," to which Rosenberg replied: "Well, that would be a good start." Throughout the segment, the onscreen text read: "Apocalypse Now?"

As Media Matters for America documented, the July 24 edition of CNN's Paula Zahn Now featured a segment examining what "the Book of Revelation tell[s] us about what's happening right now in the Middle East." CNN re-aired this segment the next day. Media Matters also noted that Rosenberg is just one of several conservative media figures who have identified and expounded upon the purported signs of the Apocalypse to be found in the Israel-Hezbollah conflict. During his appearance on Live From ..., Rosenberg claimed that he had been invited to the White House, Capitol Hill, and the CIA to discuss the Rapture and the Middle East, and noted -- several times -- that the apocalyptic events described in his novels keep coming true.

So, CNN is giving serious coverage to the impending apocalypse? Is this what passes for news in the United States of America these days? Maybe the apocalypse ain't so far away after all... Japan seems saner the longer I live here...

My Head Hurts

I've been too busy reading (pretty much exclusively about this) the past few days to post anything new here. I feel a kind of mental 'paradigm shift' coming on. This happens periodically, and when it's over the world looks different to me (not necessarily better or worse, just different). In the meantime, it's a bit unsettling, and somewhat paralyzing, because right now I'm not sure what I think about anything. It's not any kind of real 'condition' or anything. This is just what happens to me when I'm about to change some long-held opinion or belief. I'm very unhappy about what's happening in Lebanon...
Anyway, I expect to be back real soon...

'The Peaceful Country'

The Yasukuni ('peaceful country') Shrine is located in Tokyo and is dedicated to the spirits of soldiers who died fighting for the Japanese emperor (english homepage here). It's essentially the Japanese version of a war memorial, and its Book of Souls contains the names of about two and a half million Japanese men and women who died in the service of their country. Anyone even passingly familiar with the current problems between Japan and its neighbors (most notably China and the Koreas) has likely heard of this place, and has possibly wondered what all the fuss is about. I mean, the leaders of Western nations (all nations?) pay annual homage to their war dead at war memorials, right? Well, yes, but...

In the Shinto tradition humans become deities (kami) when they die, so the "souls of the dead are worshipped rather than just remembered." Only the kami of 'remarkable' people are enshrined, and this is where things get sticky. In 1978, 14 Class A war criminals (including Hideki Tojo) were quietly enshrined as 'martyrs of Showa'. (When Emperor Hirohito, emperor of the Showa period, learned of this he stopped visiting the shrine altogether--more on this below.) Yasukuni also operates a museum which many believe offers a revisionist version of history. It claims that Japan's occupation of its neighbors was done to protect the region's independence from Western encroachment; it denies events like the Nanking Massacre; it says that the execution of convicted war criminals was "cruel" and "unjust"; etc. For Japan's war-time victims, and for many liberals within Japan itself, Yasukuni is a symbol of Japanese militarism and right-wing nationalism. Conversely, to many it is a symbol of patriotism.

The current controversy centers around annual visits to the shrine by recent Japaneser prime ministers, and whether these visits were done in an official or private capacity. Current Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi has visited the shrine four times since taking office in 2001. Not surprisingly, relations with China and South Korea have grown worse during his tenure. Koizumi will step down as prime minister later this year, and many see Yasukuni as a central issue in deciding his successor.

Today saw a surprise development in this story. From The Independent:

The bitter debate over the annual pilgrimage of Japan's Prime Minister, Junichiro Koizumi, to the Yasukuni Shrine war memorial has been given a new twist by a beyond-the-grave intervention from an unusual critic: Emperor Hirohito.

A memo has been found claiming the wartime ruler expressed "strong displeasure"at Yasukuni enshrining 14 Class-A war criminals in 1978, and refused to visit the memorial, which also honours 2.5 million war dead, until his death a decade later.

As the story points out, this is a "severe embarrassment" for Mr. Koizumi. Personally, I would imagine that right-wing nationalists all over Japan are embarrassed by this revelation. They act and speak, after all, 'in the Emperor's name'. For his part, Mr. Koizumi said that he has not changed his views about the visits, calling it "an issue of the heart". But as the article points out,

[...] proof that the monarch in whose name millions of Japanese fought in the Second World War staunchly opposed official trips to the Tokyo shrine will put intense pressure on Mr Koizumi to call off a final, politically explosive visit before he leaves office in September.

Also of note here is the timing of the memo's release, which is seen by some as an attempt by business interests in Japan to "sabotage the election of Mr. Koizumi's successor" and restore good business relations with the rest of Asia.

The current Emperor, Akihiko, has never visited Yasukuni shrine, despite pressure to do so, and now it's clear that his father, who was emperor during World War II, disapproved of Yasukuni. If this isn't a slap in the face to right-wing nationalists in Japan, I don't know what is. (Imagine the Pope declaring he was an atheist...) I believe the Royal Palace has the hearts of many, if not most, Japanese. This could signal a change within Japan and between Japan and its neighbors. Assuming, of course, that the Japanese themselves are actually paying attention...

Thursday Night Japan Video Blogging

You know, as soon as I can figure out how to use the 'record' function on my DVD machine (it's in Japanese), I'll have an unlimited source of odd videos to post here. In the meantime, some more stuff culled from YouTube...

I'm not actually sure if the following commercial for copy paper is originally Japanese, but it certainly could be...




Police in Japan, and the contrast between reality and fantasy...




A nice anthropological study here. It's in Japanese, but you should be able to figure out that it's a lesson on how to grovel in Japan...

Depressing Europeans...

Wow. It's not often that I get the chance to talk about three of Japan's idiosyncrasies in one short post, but here goes...

To my mind, one of Japan's most enduring icons is the ubiquitous vending machine.
Canned coffee (hot or cold) is one of the most popular products offered by vending machines in Japan. The picture on the right is from an advertisement on a vending machine at a park near my place, and shows just two of the many coffee products offered by (I think) the biggest canned coffee company in Japan, Georgia. Georgia is owned by Coca Cola Japan.
The Japanese also (quite famously) have a penchant for using the English language, shall we say, creatively, sometimes with quite unintended results. You'll notice that one of the products in the picture is called "Deeppresso", a name which is no doubt intended to express the idea of this product's deep, rich espresso flavor. But really, say it out loud. Are you reminded of any kind of coffee? Would you want a nice hot can of deeppresso in the morning? Would you like to cool of on a hot day with an ice-cold can of deeppresso? Maybe you get my point... This is made even more amusing with the juxtaposition of Deeppresso with another of the company's products, "European". "Deeppresso European". Mmm... reminds me of Swedish movies...

Who's that dork with Ultraman?!

Believe it or not: in a goofy kinda way, one of my happiest moments in Japan!

Ultraman Land!

We're taking a family trip this weekend. My lovely wife says if I behave myself we can go visit Ultraman Land. Needless to say, I'm quite excited! If I can, I promise to post pics of me and Ultraman in battle!
In a completely unrelated matter, I guess I'll have to change the "About Me" section of my profile, since I bought a new pc this week. May not look too imposing, but under the hood it's a lean, mean, clean, web machine. I'm very happy.
Wow! A new pc and Ultraman in the same week! I still sometimes wonder what I did to deserve it but, life is good...

Thursday Night Japan Video Blogging

Ok, so I'm going to try to make this a regular thing, so long as I have time and can find half-way interesting videos (in the future I hope to make a few of my own). Here goes this week's entry...

It's perhaps not very common knowledge, but Japan has one of the most powerful and best equipped militaries in the world. In fact, in terms of conventional force, they are a match for damn near any country one might care to mention. The numbers vary from source to source, but Japan is generally recognized to be in the top 5 in terms of military spending (PDF file). So why am I wasting your time with this? Well, to introduce the first video, of course! Looks like some kind of promo used to suck young men and women into joining the forces. Starts out a bit slow, but later on they start blowing things up...




Summertime is typhoon season in Japan, and heavy rains frequently cause landslides. I've never experienced a landslide, and if the video below is any indication of what they can do, I don't want to anytime soon. This is worth watching...




This one pretty much sums up life in Japan...

Deja Vu All Over Again...

Well, I guess this is how it begins. Japanese government officials are discussing ways to better defend the country, including setting up the legal framework to allow Tokyo to launch a pre-emptive strike against North Korean missile sites.

"If we accept that there is no other option to prevent an attack ... there is the view that attacking the launch base of the guided missiles is within the constitutional right of self-defense. We need to deepen discussion," Chief Cabinet Secretary Shinzo Abe said.

Now, anyone who reads this blog knows that I'm no fan of North Korea. Nor am I especially fond of Japan's weak-in-the-knees constitution. I don't, however, believe that the Japanese government should be seriously considering making an end run around Article 9 with a pre-emptive attack on their minds. If the Japanese people want to change their constitution through a legal referendum (to my knowledge the only constitutionally legal method), that's one thing. It's quite another for the government to embark on a path of 'creative interpretation' and by-pass the people altogether.

It's easier than writing...

Found this quite by accident. It was stupid enough to make me laugh...

Fight the Future

OK. Now, if this is gonna make any sense to whomever is reading this, the first thing ya gotta do is go over to Multi Medium and check out a pic with the caption "Orange wall with thingy." I was over there myself earlier today and saw the pic in question, and didn't think anything of it until later, when I happened to drop by Loser's Guide and saw an eerily familiar looking object in an article called "The Truth Is Right Here." It doesn't end there, people. I took the picture you're looking at right now with my cell phone (sorry for the poor quality). Look closely and you should recognize this object. Yes!! It's the same object! And do you know where I saw it? It was hovering over a rugby field in back of my condo!! The glare is from the field's lights, but this is clearly the same object. They'll never take me alive...

The Japanese workplace...

...can be a little dangerous sometimes. (Go ahead and click, it's less than 30 seconds!)



I've had days like that...

I've Been 'Tagged'...

My new friend Maliha over at Lightness of Being... has sent me a meme tag. Maliha, I usually hate this kind of stuff, but in the spirit of friendship, good international relations, world peace, saving the whales, and plugging the hole in the ozone layer, I will play along. ;-) I'll need a bit of time to figure out which of my friends to 'tag'. Here goes...

I am?
an outsider, a stranger in a strange land
I want?
to live forever
I wish?
England would win the World Cup; my beloved Boston Bruins would win the Stanley Cup
I hate?
Japanese-style pizza (potatoes and mayonnaise on pizza? gimme a break!); intolerance
I miss?
my father (who never got to meet his grand-daughter); Canada
I fear?
anything bad happening to my family
I hear I am not?
a very nice guy
I hear I am?
a very nice guy
I dance?
only when it's absolutely necessary! (except with my daughter--anytime, anywhere)
I sing?
goofy Bugs Bunny-style 'opera' tunes to my daughter ("Figaro" is her favorite); old Rolling Stones tunes when Japanese friends drag me to karaoke
I cry?
when nobody's watching, about really sappy things
I am not always?
aware that I've acted or spoken unkindly
I make with my hands?
very good sandwiches; a nice, spicy chili; silly play-do creatures with my daughter
I write?
these days about my love/hate relationship with Japan; generally about things that interest me or make me concerned
I confuse?
nobody intentionally, but probably many accidentally
I need?
some time alone (maybe more than most people)
I should?
work a lot harder to improve my Japanese; quit smoking
I start?
umm...what time is it now?
I finish?
umm... when do you need it?

From the Department of the Obvious

In an article in the Japan times talking about the apparent lack of sex in Japan resulting in a declining birth rate, a Japanese researcher says that it's "important for men to have sexual relationships." About half of the world may be stunned by this news... The other half have known it all along...

North Korea--The Global Village Idiot

Not long after I arrived in Japan in 1998, North Korea test-fired a missile, part of which flew over Japan and landed in the Pacific Ocean. Now, according to this Reuters story (you can read about it anywhere, actually), it looks like they're getting ready to test another missile, this one more long-range capable. If the idiots in Pyongyang are true to form, this one will also likely violate Japanese airspace, not to mention all international norms of civilized behaviour. I was quite aware that North Korea was the nutjob of nations before I came here, but living next door to to the global village idiot is enough to raise anyone's level of anger and disgust.
Of course these missiles are relatively harmless without a payload, and it's fairly common knowledge that North Korea has a nuclear weapons program, if not actual possession of one or more nuclear bombs.
From 1977 to 1883 agents of the North Korean government were responsible for the abduction of many Japanese civilians. Most were abducted to teach Japanese language and culture to North Korean spies, some in order to obtain their identities.
For years North Korean spy boats have routinely violated Japanese territorial waters, for the purposes of both espionage and smuggling drugs into Japan.
North Korea can go on ranting all it wants about Japanese war atrocities and the wartime occupation/colonization by Japan, but it doesn't change the fact that Japan stopped throwing its weight around 60 years ago, while North Korea's crimes (and that's what they are) are recent and ongoing. I won't even go into what this pathetic excuse for a government does to its own people.
Given the above, and the relatively recent news that North Korea has been counterfeiting US currency in order to make a few bucks and destabilize the American/world economy, we Kyklopes are tempted to ask our American friends one simple question: what the fuck are you guys doing getting blown up in Iraq?

What are you smiling about?

Apparently a fight broke out after a public screening of Japan's World Cup loss to Australia last night. According to the report, at the end of the match "[...] about 10 Japanese fans began fighting, with some accusing each other of smiling even though Japan lost." Luckily for me, I watched the game at home. Even more luckily, my (Japanese) wife was sleeping...

Odds and Sods

Several Japan-related items have caught my attention recently. I'm sure if I stare at them long and hard enough some sort of pattern will emerge...

As if it weren't enough to have an education system whose only apparent goal is to teach its students how to be 'Japanese,' it now appears that the government wants to teach the Japanese to be patriotic as well.

The proposal to make education more patriotic in Japan signals the determination of conservatives here to combat what they see as a self-obsessed youth culture, characterized by rampant school bullying and juvenile crime, which they say is eroding the nation's vaunted social order.
Under proposed revisions to the Basic Education Law, which are being debated in parliament, teachers would be required to instill in students "an attitude that respects tradition and culture, and loves the nation and the homeland that have fostered them."
The changes alarm liberal critics who worry that a legal duty to teach a love for Japan would override the constitutionally guaranteed freedom of thought and conscience. They argue that mandating educators to teach patriotism echoes the ultranationalism of imperial Japan, which led to the catastrophic error of military aggression and, ultimately, ruin.

Evidently most Japanese support the revisions, "[...] demanding schools foster civic morality and teach students to show more respect." It was also revealed that some schools have already begun "grading students on their level of patriotism" and "love for Japan." Responding to criticism of the plan, Prime Minister Koizumi told legislators, "[we] are not intending a law that would draw us into war," and noted that the proposed revisions would also require teachers to imbue a respect for other countries.

Aside from inducing loud barks of disgusted laughter from reasonable people, the above story might lead us to wonder, 'who the fuck is going to be in school here in 50 years' to study anything, let alone patriotism? More than 20 percent of the population is aged 65 or older, and because of an "abysmally low fertility rate" the population will decrease to below 100 million by 2042. This is not really news, as I have yet to meet anyone here who is not aware of this problem. What makes Japan's population decline somewhat alarming is its apparent reluctance to do anything about it. Western countries, for example, rely on a steady influx of immigrants to offset lower birth rates. This leads us to our next item...

There is, in Japan, a truly radical thinker (at least in Japanese terms). His name is Hidenori Sakanaka, and he believes Japan should allow the entry of 20 million immigrants in the next 50 years. Until recently Sakanaka, a career bureaucrat, was head of the Tokyo Immigration Bureau. From what I've read of him, he seems like a rather interesting chap. Some quotes:

"It is ultimately the Japanese people who will decide this issue, but the problem is that there is no debate. The population is declining and the birth-rate is falling, and there is no way we will solve this just by encouraging more births. Now is our chance to begin talking about it seriously."
"It's almost taboo to raise the issue of mass immigration here, [...] Japan has no experience of this, only of sending people abroad. Modern Japan almost totally shuts out foreigners and the only people who debate the issue are specialists. Nobody is even researching it."
"Here's the problem: The population of the world is over 6 billion, and about half of these people live in Asia. The population of China, India Vietnam and so on is growing very fast at the same time as ours is shrinking. We're a rich country surrounded by developing countries. If we just say we're going to stop immigration completely it will eventually overwhelm us, so we should deal with it now; open the taps slowly to qualified, distinguished people. It's like a dam; we're sitting behind it and a tsunami is coming. What are we going to do about it?"
"The common Japanese view of foreigners is very unsparing at the moment. Twenty years ago, 3 out of 10 people didn't like the Chinese; today it is 7 out of 10. Many Japanese fear foreigners because they think they cause crime. Seventy percent of Japanese are against allowing more tourists. That's ridiculous. Tourists don't cause crime and the overwhelming majority of foreigners are good people. But negative thinking about foreigners here is strong."
"The politicians are afraid that if they speak positively about immigration they'll run up against public opinion. But look: The politicians don't tackle it, the bureaucrats are divided among different agencies, and there is no policy, so who is going to start?"
"Someone should say: Look, there are good and bad foreigners. We won't solve this by ourselves, so let's discuss asking foreign laborers to come here in greater but controlled numbers, and making society easier for them to live. But we haven't even got to the entry point of that debate."

By Japanese standards Mr. Sakanaka is a loose cannon. It's quite refreshing to this gaijin, however, to hear a Japanese speak so frankly and honestly about these issues. There are no doubt many reasons for the negative views Japanese tend to have of foreigners. The media is partly to blame. Any serious crime comitted by a foreigner will be on the front page of every newpaper and the leading story of every newscast. The government is certainly responsible for many policies directed against foreigners, and contains many racist elements. It doesn't help that the American military is still here. Ultimately, though, it boils down to the fact that the Japanese, as a culture, are xenophobic. Anyone who tries to deny this simple fact is either deluded, a fucking idiot, or a liar.
Do I 'hate' the Japanese? Of course not. Should I 'teach' them the error of their ways? Most definitely not. Should I express my opinion? Yes, of course I should. The Japanese should take a look in the mirror once and a while. We can't force anyone to look into the mirror, but there's nothing wrong with holding it up. Here's our final item for today. Mr. Sakanaka is back in this one, although it's a bit older. In this article Sakanaka-san gives us some insight into the problem of human traficking in Japan. I'm not going to comment on it, because I think it speaks for itself.

Tomb of Christ: Next Left

Now this is something I didn't know. According to this aricle in The Times, the village of Shingo, in northern Japan, claims to be the final resting place of Jesus Christ.

According to the account in the Christ Museum next to the tombs, Christ arrived in Japan at the age of 21 and learnt Japanese before returning to Judaea 12 years later to engage in his mission and preach about the "holy land of Japan". The official Shingo history is that Jesus' place on the Cross was "casually" taken by his brother, leaving Christ free to return to Japan. On his return he fell in love with Miyuko, a local girl, and lived happily with his family among the rice fields until dying aged 106.

The Times' article is a bit skimpy on historical details, but a quick Google search of japan christ's tomb brings up a long list of links with more 'information', including one of my personal favorites from Learn the Bible, which calls the entire notion a "blasphemous heresy". Here you'll read about more "false" and "blasphemous" stories of Christ, from the "African Legend" to the "Mormon Myth" to "The Da Vinci Hoax." "Here is the question to ask yourself," the author says. "Which one is true? The answer is clear – they can't all be true. They are all false." Well, I can't argue with logic like that...

Rocklops

I've never quite been able to figure out what to do with this blog; I haven't been able nail down a certain writing style or even any sort of vaguely thematic content. Yeah, the Japanese angle is certainly ripe, but my feelings about Japan are so damn ambiguous at this point that I don't have any confidence about writing coherently about it. In many respects Japan is a shithole when I compare it to Canada. Yet there's no doubt in my mind that coming here was the best thing that could possibly have happened to me. My wife and daughter are daily reminders. After eight years I still don't know what to make of this place that has given me so much. And that's the essence of my problem--it would be unseemly to make fun of a place in which I've become, well, successful, but it would, at the same time, be remiss not to talk about all the fucked-up things I see here. My own ambiguous feelings are mirrored in how I'm perceived by the Japanese who know me. I'm neither an insider nor an outsider. I occupy some limbo-like region of social existence that I haven't quite come to terms with. It would probably help if I put more effort into my Japanese language studies, but there's a creeping fear: the more familiar I become with the language, the more obvious it becomes that the Japanese don't have anything to say--at least not anything I'm interested in. To be fair, that is an as yet unproven hypothesis...
Anyway, I haven't given up on this blog yet. Actually just writing this post has given me some ideas for a new approach. In the meantime, I've started a new blog about something I love: rock n' roll. It's called Rocklops, and you can find it here.

Sigh...

It occurred to me tonight, after several beers and while listening to Opeth, that I've become too polite. Obviously a symptom of living in Japan for the past 8 years, this 'politeness' is, in fact, not a true reflection of the 'real' me. I'm not talking about open-the-door-for-little-old-ladies, common-decency-to-your-fellow-man, "sorry-I-stepped-on-your-foot"- type of politeness. No, I'm talking about the insidious type of politeness that keeps you from saying what's on your mind for fear of offending someone.
Fact is, I think that 99% of what goes on in the world is shit. It goes without saying that I only interest myself in the 1% of things that happen in the world that are, well, interesting. You may not like Opeth, but I don't really give a shit. I'm quite pleased that, at the age of 47, I can listen to a good death/prog metal band and enjoy them. Beats the fuck out of Eric Clapton Unplugged or Queen with Paul Rodgers or whatever.
I'm generally a left-wing type o' guy, but speaking of Japan, I think it's time they renounced that pathetic, peace-loving constitution of theirs. Let's get real here, how can Japan participate in world affairs if their 'soldiery' can't go and be killed in foreign countries while 'keeping the peace' wearing the blue beret of the UN? Permanent Security Council seat? Up to now all Japan has done is pay protection money, they have not shown that they're worthy to have a permanent seat on the Security Council (the notion of 'permamnent seat' itself is worthy of another post...). I pay taxes in Japan, I pay into the social security system here, and my wife and daughter are Japanese citizens. I think I have the right to speak about these things... (and I will in my next post...).

Clash of the Titans

This recent headline caught my eye: Ice Hockey: Japan powers past Israel in Group A. Not exactly the Olympics or the NHL Playoffs, but it is Division 1 of the International Ice Hockey Federation, which means that the winners of this tournament will move up (however briefly) to play against traditional powerhouses like Canada, Sweden and Russia at World Championships next year. I had no idea that they played hockey in Israel, prompting me to dig a bit deeper into this story. The Israel Ice Hockey Federation was established in 1989 by emigres from the Soviet Union and Canada (my heart is beginning to swell...). It joined the International Ice Hockey Federation in 1991. There are three skating rinks in Israel--one Olympic facility and two smaller rinks, one of them at the Canada Center in Metula (my heart is bursting with pride...). The current head coach of Team Israel is none other than Jean Perron, who coached Team canada in the 1984 Olympics and led the Montreal Canadiens to a Stanley Cup championship in 1986. It's fair to say that, given the short amount of time Israel has had a hockey program, it's quite remarkable that they are now playing competitively in Division 1. I started this post thinking to make some kind of joke (as the title might suggest), but it lead me to an unexpected place. Good luck to Israel and Japan at this year's tournament!

Daily Smile

Mmm... I wonder what my buddies over at the Korean Central News Agency of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea are up to these days (from April 24)...

Ahh, apparently some South Koreans like America: "It is a disgrace and tragedy that there are such traitors within the nation who hit upon the abominable idea, after licking the boots of the aggressors, running the whole gamut of flattery."

On whether or not US sanctions against North Korea are linked to resumption of the six-party talks: "The hypocritical nature of the U.S. oft-repeated assertion has thus been fully revealed by its self-contradictory statements."

The headline says DPRK Will Never Allow U.S. to Dare Provoke It:"They are grossly mistaken if they calculate they can wrest any concession and compromise from the DPRK by whiling away the time through sanctions and pressure."

Take that, America!!: "If they ignite a new war despite our repeated warnings, the army and people of the DPRK will mobilize all potentials to wipe out them to the last one so that they may not be able to go back home safe."

Drive-By Truckers

As if my simple recommendation weren't enough to bestow greatness upon them, my friend Pierre over at Loser's Guide has asked me what it is that I like about the music of Drive-By Truckers...
Umm, well, they have a cool name, don't you think? And they're from the South (Alabama, I think), and boys from down there have always made some good shit-kickin' rock 'n' roll. These guys make some damn good rock 'n' roll, too, but there's a little more going on than simple shit-kickin', Old Glory-waving southern rock. It took me a few listens over a few years to realize it (actually I had an epiphany a couple of weeks ago while listening to the album Decoration Day after drinking about 10 beers), but Drive-By Truckers have a lot of interesting things to say about being from and living in the South and about life in general. I don't usually pay too much attention to song lyrics unless they're really good or really bad. These guys have very good, intelligent and thoughtful lyrics. They sing about, for example, the "duality of the 'southern thing'" (pride and shame), economic hardship and the divide between rich and poor, and personal relationships. Their lyrics, I think, are always life-affirming and heavy with themes of reconciliation and redemption. (Note to self: don't mention Faulkner or readers will think you're showing off...) Musically, Drive-By Truckers sound like a hybrid of Neil Young and Lynyrd Skynyrd spiced with some Stones and a bit of punk.
As a young guy growing up in a small town in Nova Scotia, me and my buddies listened to a lot of southern rock bands. The Allman Brothers Band, The Marshall Tucker Band and Lynyrd Skynyrd saw us through many a drunken evening. We paid for our beer with hard-earned unemployment cheques. The Atlantic provinces are the 'poor' part of Canada. But it wasn't always like that. The Maritimes used to be the 'civilized' part of Canada. I wouldn't go so far as to make a direct comparison to the American South (for many obvious reasons), but it's no mystery to me if the songs of some good southern rock bands somehow resonate within me.

PSA

Please go buy any and all albums by Drive-By Truckers.

Not in My Backyard

This from the CBC: Minuteman volunteers to patrol Canada-U.S. border for illegal migrants. I guess things are falling apart in Canada, forcing some sort of mass refugee-like exodus. According to one of the Minutemen volunteers,

"Where I live, there are six adults living in houses. There's more and more garbage. The hospital is losing money. We are trying to help stem the tide, but what we really need is the National Guard along the southern border and at key spots along the northern one."

This guy must live in Los Angeles or Florida where, so I've heard, filthy, uneducated, lazy Canadians clutter the scenery like cigarette butts in a gin joint urinal.

Is There a Zealotry-Enhancing Steroid?

There's nothing more obnoxious than a zealot, and new types seem to be springing up daily. Take IOC anti-doping czar Dick Pound, for example. He's made it his personal mission to sniff the piss of anyone involved in any sport anywhere in the world. Yes, he's on a mission. Today the first athlete was tossed out of the current Winter Olympics in Torino (this NY Times link will likely soon go stale). Olga Pyleva, a biathlete from Russia, was banished from the games for testing positive for the banned stimulant carphedon. Russian team officials claimed that the substance was in an over-the-counter medication Pyleva had taken for an ankle injury, but that the banned substance was not listed in the ingredients.
Before we continue, I'd just like to say that, personally, I'm not very sympathetic to cheaters, and I think intentionally taking drugs to enhance one's performance in a sporting event is cheating (taking them to get wasted is another thing altogether...). We've heard excuses like Pyleva's a hundred times before, but Dick Pound can't even accept the possibilty that someone might have ingested a banned substance by accident. Pound said he was skeptical of this excuse:

I should start a collection of the different excuses I hear, like, 'I got it from sitting on a toilet,' or, 'My evil twin gave it to me' [...] We don't want to hear any of that. We just want the word to get out that if you're cheating, you're not welcome here.

Yeah, Dick, like anyone has ever given one of those excuses. It's probably more verifiable that Dick Pound is more of a liar than many of the athletes he's banished to obscurity. But then empirical evidence is not exactly the province of the zealot. Later in the same article Pound talks about the 12 cross-country skiers he suspended for having high levels of hemoglobin in their blood.

I think everybody would have a gut feeling that the odds of this happening in this size of a population are about one in three million [...] So we do suspect something going on there.

Talk about pulling numbers out of your ass. According to the Times article, while high levels of hemoglobin may indicate doping, they could also be caused by dehydration or training at high altitudes (or using hyperbaric tents to simulate high altitudes). It doesn't seem unreasonable to me that skiers might train at high altitudes, in which case the only surprise might be that all skiers didn't test for high levels of hemoglobin. I don't mean to suggest that nobody's cheating. I do mean to suggest that 'signs' of cheating do not neceesarily mean that someone is, in fact, cheating.
Pound's tendency to ignore empirical evidence probably first became manifest a few months ago when he claimed that up to a third of National Hockey League players were taking some form of performance enhancing drugs. Again, did Pound offer any evidence for this claim? Not that I'm aware of. Perhaps he was thinking of Montreal Canadiens goalie Jose Theodore, who recently failed a drug test because he uses a hair-growth stimulant? This is almost a joke to anyone who watches hockey. Do NHLers look like they use steroids? What exactly would be the benefits of using steroids for a hockey player? Hockey players look like soccer and basketball players. Compare players of these sports with baseball and football players (for general size and 'bulkiness'). Sometimes, Dick, all you have to do is use your eyes. But then just eyeballing something is a form of empiricism, isn't it?

Compare and Contrast

Jeremy Roenick, 35 year-old NHL veteran, on not being named to the American men's Olympic hockey team:

"It would be a travesty if I'm not [selected ...] I know they want a youth movement, and they need to have one, but it'd be disrespectful of the guys who have gotten Team USA to this point internationally. [Team USA] "better hope that I don't get a job as a commentator on NBC for [the Games], or it'd be 'Go Canada' all the way, and I don't want that."

"I know nobody on that team has more points in the National Hockey League than me [...] So if (USA Hockey) wants to go that way, good luck."

"To not have the opportunity to go back one more time and try and win the gold is, obviously, in my opinion, very disrespectful. They can beat me down and say I'm over the hill or say that I don't have it anymore, but, to me, I know that I do."


"If they want to leave me off because of my numbers this year, that's well and fine [...] "They didn't invite me to camp in September and they've been blackballing me anyways [...] I know I can play this game at a high level. My stats aren't indicative of the way I've played this year. I think my career, the way I've worked, speaks for itself. If that's the way they want to be, it's fine. I'll accept it."


Sydney Crosby, 18 year-old NHL rookie, on not being named to the Canadian men's Olympic Hockey team:

"There are a lot of great hockey players from Canada and I realize that [...] you're not making an All-Star team, you're not choosing the guys who are the best scorers or who have the most points or the top 20 point-getters in the NHL, you're making a team to go and win. That includes guys who have to be defensive forwards, guys who have some different roles. Either I didn't fit that role or I didn't earn a place to be there."

"It's important for me to move on [...]I try to go out and give myself an opportunity to play there and if not, I'm not second-guessing any guy there because they all deserve to be there. It's tough because I thought I had a chance, but it's not tough because I think I should replace someone else, it's not like that at all."

"I knew there were a group of guys in the mix for so many spots -- I don't know how many it was, but I think I was right in there [...] It's special to play in the Olympics and when you're that close, it's a little bit tough because you don't know what's going to happen when you're 22 or 26."

Blue Sky

The lovely young woman on the left is none other than (following Japanese name forms) Aoi Sora (link NSFW), which means "Blue Sky". She's a popular "AV idol" (Adult Video star) here in Japan. She's starred in such films as Let's Go Blue in the Sky, Virgin Sky, 50/50, Sexy Fruit and Soap Heaven, to name but a few.
So why am talking about Aoi Sora and posting her picture here? Is it a cheap ploy to suck traffic in to my boring blog? Do I harbor some secret dream to be a porn king? Hell, yeah! But I digress...
In my classes today I asked my students (working in groups) to write down any words or phrases they associated with the term "the sky". (Note to the ESL/EFL uninitiated: Damned if I know whether or not this type of activity is of any use to the students, but it usually gives me an idea of what they do or don't know. We've been reading articles this month with weather-related content... please don't ask...). As the students were doing the activity I was walking around the room checking what they'd written, offering suggestions, getting clarifications, etc. Most everyone had written words commonly associated with "the sky"--clouds, rain, stars, UFOs, and the like. In one of my classes today, however, there was a group of four guys I noticed chuckling and whispering to each other, like they had some funny secret. There are no rules against having fun in my classes, and they were busy writing stuff down, so I didn't pay them much mind. Eventually I made my way over to them and took a look at what they had written. Pretty much the same as everyone else, but the first item on their paper was the phrase "Aoi Sora"...
Now, as fate would have it, and totally unbeknownst to my students, I know who Aoi Sora is. Yes, I admit it, I have gazed upon Japanese (and countless other types of) porn. Further, I have sought it out on the web. I suppose there are a few (straight) guys out there who don't like to look at pictures of naked women, but I'm not one of them. I can only imagine what goes on in their sick, twisted minds. The only creature lower on the evolutionary scale would be someone who likes to look at beautiful, naked women, but denies doing it (liars are worse than retards, although they probably live longer, proving irrevocably that evolution isn't always fair or sensible).
Anyway, playing dumb, I look at what these guys have written and say, "This is Japanese, what does it mean?" "Blue Sky", one of them says, with darting glances at, and shared smirks with, his partners. I ask, "Is she the most popular AV idol in Japan?" Their jaws drop. After some hushed consultation another one answers, "well, she's one of the most popular." Not willing to pass up the opportunity, I say, "ok, make me a list, will you?"
They did. They gave it to me after class, and lingered a bit to chat. It may sound strange, but this is how to teach English in Japan.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to check out this list...

Meanwhile, in Iraq...

... we've been hearing about kidnappers threatening to kill their peace activist hostages, more US marines killed by roadside bombs, and an ambush by militants that killed 19 Iraqi soldiers. Not so widely reported was the broken mirror on a Japanese Ground Defense Force vehicle, inflicted by stone-throwing protesters in Samawah on Sunday. How are these events connected and what does it all mean? I leave that to you, dear reader...

Damned Weather

Well, I was scheduled to be flying home for a visit to Canada tomorrow, but there's this big honkin' typhoon parked off the southern coast of Kyushu that seems determined that I postpone my trip at least one day (I'm in Miyazaki, which is about a half an inch northeast of the typhoon's eye in the image on the right). Normally these things blow through in a few hours, but this one seems to be just sitting there taunting me. Typhoon-like conditions began here about 24 hours ago, and it looks like it'll be another 24 hours before we're rid of the damned thing.
Generally I view typhoons in a favorable light. They're always good for a day off work, or cancelling annoying outings that you don't really want to attend. This is the first time in seven years in Japan that I can honestly say I have been inconvenienced by a typhoon.

Japanese 'Gaijin'

"Ground Self-Defense Force troops deployed in Iraq for reconstruction assistance cannot vote in the Sept 11 general election because they do not fulfill the requirements for overseas voting [...]" Apparently, in order to vote in a Japanese election it's not enough to be 'Japanese'. One must either be physically present in Japan or, barring that, be prescient. The following is from the print version of the Daily Yomiuri (Fri, Sept. 2, 2005; not a bad paper, but shitty web presence- in English, at least): "Japanese living overseas have to register in advance to receive an expatriate voting certificate, a process that takes an average of two months to complete." So, any Nihonjin living abroad who did not apply to vote about 6-7 weeks ago can't.
Prime Minister Koizumi dissolved parliament sometime around mid to late August (I can't be bothered checking), and the election campaign itself began this week and will last for two weeks (Americans take note)...
As far as the election itself goes, I suppose I should make some brief comment. The central issue is reform of the post office. Sounds weird, I know. Gwynne Dyer (whether you like him or not) has a pretty good summary of the main facts. The short story: Japan Post is essentially the biggest bank in the world (savings and deposits over $3 trillion); it has 25,000 branches (10 times more than all major banks combined); 85% of Japanese have a savings account at the post office; the post office writes 40% of Japan's insurance policies; as a government institution, it is a cash cow to the perpetually ruling LDP Party, who use it to finance numerous pork barrel projects and secure votes from its 400,000 employees.
The above is certainly troubling, BUT: I frequently read/hear financial commentators refer to the privatization of the Japanese post office as a "freeing up" of funds for "business investment". For me, this only begs the question (to which we all know the answer): why don't the Japanese put their money into banks? The answer is, of course, that the banks are even more corrupt and less secure than the post office. (Smug Canadians might do well to ponder where their savings [if they have any] would be without government protection of the banking system- if a half-dozen member monopolistic entity can be called a 'system'). For most Japanese (and for me) Japan Post is a safe place to keep one's money.

Zeus Wept

To be fair, this kind of shit is not exclusive to Japan--6-month-old girl dies from heat in car while mom plays pachinko, but apparently the stupid bitch didn't even return to the car when a major earthquake struck. Fuck...

Like Clockwork

Some interesting statistics on crimes committed by foreigners in Japan.
A typical headline:Record number of foreigners charged with crimes Jan-June
The facts:Visa violators up alien arrest stats as crimes fall.

Leaving Las Vegas, Korea-style

"A South Korean man who recently quit his job to play more video games died after playing almost non-stop for 50 hours at an internet cafe." I can imagine a similar fate for myslef, but not from fucking video games.

Ishihara's French Kiss-Off: Follow-Up

Pierre over at Loser's Guide has expressed some puzzlement over Ishihara's remarks about French being a "language which cannot count numbers." Near as I can tell, Ishihara was referring to the fact that numbers in French can be complicated: the number 94, for example, translates as "four twenties and fourteen." Of course this is only a problem for people who don't know the language, and can't really compare to the numerous quirks of the Japanese counting systems (yeah, there are several systems). One million, in Japanese, translates as "a hundred ten thousands"; different words are used depending on what is being counted (people, things, etc); Japanese uses both kanji and arabic numerals to express numbers; etc...

Angua wonders "[w]as the minister kicked by a guy in a beret? Forced to eat snails? Hit upside the head with a baguette?" My own fantasy is that some French prostitute must have laughed at him while he was on a school trip to Paris, but the reality is this: Mr. Ishihara is an ultra-nationalist bigot and world class xenophobe who really doesn't have much nice to say about anybody. Over the years he's dropped some zingers. In 1995, he claimed that the Nanjing Massacre was an invention of the Chinese. In 1999, he worried publicly about foreigners rioting in the streets in the event of an earthquake. He refers to Chinese and Koreans as "third world poeple"(sangokujin). Commenting on a bomb that had been placed at the private residence of a deputy foreign minister, he said "[a] bomb was planted there. I think it was deserved."
But, as Angua suggested, "inquiring minds want to know". Why insult the French (heh, as if..., no, I won't say it...)? The following quote, while perhaps inconclusive, may at least offer a clue: "I'm an existentialist--freedom and passion are the most important things to me. I was horribly disappointed when I learned that Sartre was a Communist."

Sometimes the Jokes Write Themselves (Extended Schoolyard Sissyfight Mix)

Tokyo Governor Shintaro Ishihara is being sued for "insulting the French language." Apparently Mr. Ishihara, on Oct. 19, said "I have to say that it should be no surprise that French is disqualified as an international language because French is a language which cannot count numbers." Quite predictably this upset the 2 or 3 people who actually (claim to) make a living teaching French in Japan. In their lawsuit they claim that the governor's remarks "give a false impression that French is a poor language, which is not acceptable by international standards [...]"

All in a Day's Work...

Mr. Doudou Diene of Senegal has been to and now left Japan. Mr. Diene, at the end of his nine-day visit said that discrimination in Japan is "deep and profound", that government leaders cannot recognize the depth of the problem, and that the Japanese public had a "strong xenophobic drive." Yawn... Did I mention that Mr. Diene is the UN's special rapporteur on contemporary forms of racism, racial discrimination, xenophobia and related intolerance? Well, he is.

How the World Works...

According to Japan Today "A U.N. expert on racism and discrimination will visit Japan in July for the first time [...]"

Doudou Diene of Senegal, special rapporteur of the Commission on Human Rights on contemporary forms of racism, racial discrimination, xenophobia and related intolerance, will arrive in Japan this weekend for his fact-finding mission through July 12.

I wonder how he fits all that onto his business card... From Mr. Diene:

"As a world power in an era of globalization, Japan has to expand to the outside world. But its society is still closed, spiritually and intellectually centered," he said, adding such conflicting positions could create tensions that would lead to racism and discrimination.

I can't really say why, but I'm reminded of a factory I used to work in as a kid back in the 'old country.' About once a year a safety inspector used to come to the place to make sure us workin' stiffs weren't being forced to work in unsafe conditions. He always came while we were eating lunch...
Anyway, according to the article,

Diene will focus on minorities of Korean and Chinese descent, while also looking into the situation that migrants from the rest of Asia, the Arab world and Africa find themselves in as they settle in Japan.

Mmm, no minority groups in Japan missing in that list... (Sometimes, just sometimes, I understand the American loathing of the UN...)

"It is never easy for any government to accept an outside eye in their policies and programs," he said. "It is for me to convince them I am here to listen and understand [...]"

He'd make a good 'safety inspector'...

Yeah, well buddy, we're all bored around here, OK?

A quote I never expected to read: "It is a sad loss for Pakistani hockey [...]"

Dumb Americans: An impending law in the US will punish good, decent, file-sharing folk as severely as those who commit manslaughter.

How bored am I?: This bored.

A good album: Arc Angels (self-titled, 1992).

Another triumph for 'cradle to grave' system: "I wanted to kill someone. It didn't matter who. I had been thinking about doing it for about two years.". The "someone" in this case was a 4-year-old boy...

The papal trojan horse: A hospital in Fredericton (it's in Canada, for the geographically challenged) has removed bibles from bedsides "in a quest to control infections." [Insert Microsoft joke here.]

As If You Cared

A funny lyric: "My masochistic baby went and left me..." (Fatboy Slim, El Bebe Masoquista)

A Timbit: Apparently trash from Tim Horton's accounts for 47% of all fast food trash, and 22% of all trash in Nova Scotia.

An opinion: Rock 'N' Roll is high art. 'Artists,' however, should be banned from any and all recording studios when intending to record rock albums (for the record, Bob Dylan, Leonard Cohen, and the like, while they may qualify as artists and make fine music, are NOT rock 'n' rollers). The Stones, for example, have never claimed to be into anything other than music, money and women. Do you think it's remotely possible for them to be embarrassed about being filthy rich old farts with hot young wives? Of course it ain't. It's their philosophy, for fuck's sake. Anyone who's embarrassed by the Stones is simply jealous.... The British 'punks' were supposedly a rebellion against and repudiation of 'traditional' rock values, but really, who ended up looking like the chump? The British punks sold out faster than you could say Sex Pistols. American punks were always, at heart, rockers. I don't recall Iggy Pop ever referring to himself as an 'artist'....

Do I remember this, or is it deja vu?: Little Black Sambo is to be re-issued in Japan

This week on Ebay: Somebody has bid 3.5 billion to buy the entire National Hockey League.

Unrelated Segments

I've decided to begin a list of blogs that I regularly check out (it's somewhere on the left of this page, but I suppose that could change...). Right now the list contains only the blog of my pal Paul over at Subtrahend . I hope to be adding more soon.

Mitsubishi Heavy Industries of Japan will start making Patriot 3 missiles. I wonder what kinds of doodads they'll add...

Holy Fucking Shit!

You didn't come here to read about the Red Sox and the greatest comeback in baseball history, but holy fucking shit. In honor of this truly remarkable achievement, today in my university classes we 'studied' the classic Nancy Sinatra song These Boots Are Made for Walkin'. Too bad that my Japanese students are Matsui and, therefore, Yankees fans...

From the Wire Hanger Department

Coke really is better than Pepsi. Joan Crawford screams... from the grave, of course...

Hole in the Sky

As I write this, it's been 29 days 9 hours and 39 minutes since the National Hockey League's owners have locked out the player's union. (Sigh...) To add insult to injury the Yankees are up 2-0 on the Red Sox, my computer is too old to download the newest Google toy, and the Prime Minister of Japan has actually stated that he hopes George W. Bush is re-elected. There ain't no justice...

All Your Base Are Belong to Us...

I'm a big fan of mangled English (some might say I'm a well-versed practitioner). I dug up the following from my archives the other day. I've lost the original link, but clearly it comes from somewhere on the wonderful site of The Korean Central News Agency of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

If Japan hastens the move to become a military power and the way of reinvasion, overheated by its ambition for militaristic overseas expansion in the new century instead of liquidating its blood-stained history of aggression on Korea and other Asian countries, it would precipitate its final destruction.

Keep up the good work boys, you'll be pounding out Shakespeare in no time.

Mind if I smoke?

According to this story from the CBC, crack addicts in Vancouver are after a safe place to smoke a few rocks. This follows the apparent success of a safe injection site for heroin addicts which opened in Vancouver last year. According to one crack addict, "It's just really high strung standing in this alley, because you're exposed not only to the cops, but to every form of violence." Excuse this aging liberal for sounding flippant, but haven't back alleys in urban centres been dangerous, for anybody engaged in any behaviour, since the world's first mugging? (No, I don' have any fucking idea when and where that was, but I'm fairly certain it happened long before crack was invented.) One is tempted to ask, well, what about a "safe-taking-a-shortcut-at-night room"? Or, a "safe-I-paid-the-bitch-now-I-want-my-blowjob room"? Hell, as a smoker (of cigarettes) I'd be happy to find a place(from past experience) in Vancouver where it was safe to smoke tobacco.
I suppose I should clear up a possible mis-understanding. For the record, I'm in favour of a safe injection place for heroin addicts (or other needle users). It's pretty simple, really. People sharing their dirty needles is a public health issue, connected to, but to a degree separable from the broader social issue of drugs (which should never be a criminal issue--see, I'm a liberal!!). Catching a cold from sharing a crack pipe is not on the same public health plane as catching AIDS from sharing a needle.
There always have been, and always will be 'back alleys'. They have never and will never be 'safe'. This is neither a good nor a bad thing. It may be a necessary thing. I would suggest that anyone who has never been in a back alley probably doesn't have a clear picture of life/reality.
(Heh, as Black Sabbath's "War Pigs" droned in my headphones, I thought I'd try out the spellcheck for this site. It suggested I replace CBC with CBS....)