Shazai ("Apology")

Choose an appropriate apology, proportional to the degree of guilt. Append "sumimasen" ["excuse me/I'm sorry"].

An interesting and informative video on shazai ("apology") in Japan. The "perpetual ojigi" is a personal favorite, but the "predominantly used by ninja" bow on one knee is also pretty cool ("be wary of approaching enemies!").



Now you too can grovel with the best!

All the Comforts of Home...

One of the things I truly love about my life here in Japan is the office I have at work. It's got just about everything a man with time on his hands could desire. It's spacious, it's got a view, and the amenities, well, they're to die for! What, you think I'm joking? I'm dead serious, friends. Japan places a great premium on maintaining the appearance of being busy while actually doing nothing, and the best way to appear to be busy is not to "appear" at all! I don't come out of my office all day (except to attend meetings), so I must be busy! And since the diligent "worker" is expected to be "busy" in his office all day, he might as well be comfortable. Allow me to show you what I mean.

My office has a very large window affording a lovely view of the parking lot. (Hey! There's my car! It's the blue one in the middle of the "top" row.) And you know, on clear days I can actually see the ocean from here! Sometimes I just stare out the window for hours on end...


As you can plainly see from the shot below, my "work" area is spacious and comfortable. The university has spared no expense providing me with the means necessary to do my job well: a computer with broadband internet connection, a fax/phone, a color printer, and all the office supplies I can pilfer!


My office also comes equipped with it's own portable stereo, complete with CD/MD/Tape /Radio functions. And, what better way to use my broadband connection, printer, and office supplies than to provide myself with a little music to help make the hum-drum of the work day a little more enjoyable!?


As a university "professor" I'm expected to be well-informed about what's happening in the world and in my special area of "expertise". I'm provided, at no expense to myself whatsoever, with any reading materials I desire.


Of course, on that rare occasion when someone actually comes to see me with a question, it's only fit and proper that I have the necessary reference material at my disposal. Can't have those pesky students tripping you up with some trick spelling or grammar question!


Care for a hot or cold drink? A snack? Need to wash up? Not a problem! (I'm still angling for a way to get coffee covered by my office budget...)


And finally, after a long day of blog--, er, working, sometimes I feel like taking a little nap. Looks inviting, doesn't it?


Yes, indeed. I sure love my office!

The Torture Never Stops

So the other day my university has this big meeting for the entire faculty...

I wonder if anyone's ever done a serious study of meetings in the Japanese workplace. What a treasure trove of fascinating information is just sitting here waiting to be dug up by some industrious academic go-getter. In over 8 years of working in Japan I must have attended at least, oh, I don't know, 75 trillion meetings, give or take. There are two or three things that the careful observer will notice about any meeting in Japan, regardless of the occupations of those attending:

1a. Before the meeting a memo will be passed out to all staff who are to attend. The meeting will consist of one or more people reading the contents of the memo.

1b. (Usually for larger meetings) No memo has been passed out before the meeting. Instead, all those attending will be given a thick handout on their way into the meeting room. The meeting will consist of one or more people reading the contents of the handout.

1c. The same as 1b, except that the contents of the handout will also be on display as part of a PowerPoint presentation.

2. It is a requirement at Japanese meetings that at least (but no more than) 20-25% of those attending be fast asleep within 10 minutes of the meeting's commencement. There must always be at least two people sleeping during any meeting (it would be considered rude to be the only one sleeping), meaning that at meetings of fewer than 10 people sleeping is forbidden (although I'm convinced that many Japanese have mastered the art of sleeping with their eyes open).

3. The mere hint of anything that might be considered useful, interesting, or mildly amusing is strictly forbidden at Japanese meetings.

...Anyway, as I was saying, my university had a big meeting the other day. The purpose of the meeting was to instruct faculty on a newly installed database system that we can use to input our published research (yeah, right...) and reference the research of others. This was a 1c-type meeting--big handout and PowerPoint.

Now, friends, know my horror: at these meetings everything is in Japanese--the speakers speak in Japanese, that handouts are written in Japanese, the PowerPoint is (amazingly) no less annoying in Japanese. I'm so tired...

At a Meeting Today

This is a pretty common occurrence at meetings in Japan:



Yep. I must see this, oh..., at least once a week...

Tags: Japan : work

Like Clockwork

Some interesting statistics on crimes committed by foreigners in Japan.
A typical headline:Record number of foreigners charged with crimes Jan-June
The facts:Visa violators up alien arrest stats as crimes fall.

All in a Day's Work...

Mr. Doudou Diene of Senegal has been to and now left Japan. Mr. Diene, at the end of his nine-day visit said that discrimination in Japan is "deep and profound", that government leaders cannot recognize the depth of the problem, and that the Japanese public had a "strong xenophobic drive." Yawn... Did I mention that Mr. Diene is the UN's special rapporteur on contemporary forms of racism, racial discrimination, xenophobia and related intolerance? Well, he is.

How the World Works...

According to Japan Today "A U.N. expert on racism and discrimination will visit Japan in July for the first time [...]"

Doudou Diene of Senegal, special rapporteur of the Commission on Human Rights on contemporary forms of racism, racial discrimination, xenophobia and related intolerance, will arrive in Japan this weekend for his fact-finding mission through July 12.

I wonder how he fits all that onto his business card... From Mr. Diene:

"As a world power in an era of globalization, Japan has to expand to the outside world. But its society is still closed, spiritually and intellectually centered," he said, adding such conflicting positions could create tensions that would lead to racism and discrimination.

I can't really say why, but I'm reminded of a factory I used to work in as a kid back in the 'old country.' About once a year a safety inspector used to come to the place to make sure us workin' stiffs weren't being forced to work in unsafe conditions. He always came while we were eating lunch...
Anyway, according to the article,

Diene will focus on minorities of Korean and Chinese descent, while also looking into the situation that migrants from the rest of Asia, the Arab world and Africa find themselves in as they settle in Japan.

Mmm, no minority groups in Japan missing in that list... (Sometimes, just sometimes, I understand the American loathing of the UN...)

"It is never easy for any government to accept an outside eye in their policies and programs," he said. "It is for me to convince them I am here to listen and understand [...]"

He'd make a good 'safety inspector'...