Hey whats up?..i found your profile on a dating site i was on. your hot! i tried to add you to msn but it didnt work! Can you try adding me to yours?
Now I'm sure that anyone reading this has received untold billions of messages just like this one in, oh, the past couple of weeks alone. And, like me, I'm sure you have more important things to do than to look at every piece of spam that you receive (don't you?). In fact, it was only by accident that I saw the above message. Seeing it got me to thinking, though...
No, I wasn't thinking about adding the sender to my MSN. I was thinking, who writes this stuff, and why does it seem vaguely familiar? Look at the "come on," of the message above, and then look at this scene from the script of a porn movie (never mind which porn movie... any porn movie, dammit!):
He: Here's the pizza you ordered ma'am.
She: Why, thank you!
He: Just doin' my job, ma'am.
She: What's your name, big boy?
He: Rocco, ma'am.
She: That's a really nice belt, Rocco...
He: Uhuhhhhh....
I think the parallels are obvious, and I leave it to you, gentle readers, to draw your own conclusions...
[UPDATE: Just a couple of hours after posting this, someone from Calgary, Canada was directed here by Google. Their search term?
hey whats up?..i found your profile on a dating site i was on. i tried to add you to msn but it didnt work!
I find this incredibly strange and funny...]
That was a hot movie. Thanks for bringing back the memories.
ReplyDeleteGlenn,
ReplyDeleteTheir's a certain universality about such scenes that allows them to transcend any particularities of space and time while at the same time retaining an inherent "hotness"...
I'm getting very bizarre and yet very funny spam at the moment, for male enhancement pills. Things like:
ReplyDelete"She saw my tool and made a throaty noise, such as I'd never heard before"
Much better than random excerpts from Lord of the Rings.
Hi Chez!
ReplyDeleteLong time no see! Hey, it sounds like your spammers can at least string a sentence together!
If I get more spam for penis enlargements and male enhancement pills I'm going to have to go out and get a sex change. I mean it would be one thing if I was actually male - unless they know something I don't...
ReplyDeleteIn the last week it seems the spam rate has spiralled. Today, just to tie in with your post, I got one headed, "helping porn studios since 1970s" Well, yes, certainly cribbing from porn studios...
AV,
ReplyDeleteIt's really annoying how much spam ends up in your inbox, isn't it? My "home" email is pretty much unusable now because, of the 100+ emails I receive everyday, about 90% is spam. My Hotmail account is surprisingly spam-free. My work email hasn't received a single piece of spam in over 3 years--because it's never been entered into an online form. Yahoo, Amazon, etc. are the absolute biggest culprits for leaking email. There is no punishment too severe for the idiots responsible for this crap. I'd better stop now...
kyklops said:
ReplyDelete"Glenn,
Their's a certain universality about such scenes that allows them to transcend any particularities of space and time while at the same time retaining an inherent 'hotness'..."
Dude ... deep.
Glenn,
ReplyDeleteDude ... deep.
A university education and repeated viewings of Reservoir Dogs have given me the tools necessary to expound "deeply" on pretty much any topic.
;-)
Glenn,
ReplyDeleteAnd by the way, shouldn't you be "deeply" asleep about now?
You're right ... 'Night ...
ReplyDelete