The Whiskey Bottle (1)

One Friday night Jimmy was up in Victoria Park drinking with his buddy Brad, and Brad's girlfriend Connie. They were in the woods on a hill overlooking the main part of the park. The park was closed, so they weren't supposed to be there. There was also the matter of the three of them being underage.

They had just finished off a case of beer and were about to start in on a 40 of rye. Just as they were about to twist off the top of the 40 though, they noticed somebody approaching in the lighted area below them. It was Old Chas, the park's caretaker. Old Chas was the enemy of the world's young. He was about 65 or 70, and he had (so it seemed) a deep, specific hatred for "hippy-types" and, more generally, for any young people who might be enjoying themselves. Chas wasn't dangerous or anything, but he could be a real pain in the ass.

As Old Chas walks by below them, Jimmy's holding the 40 of whiskey. He whispers to Brad and Connie, "What the fuck. Let's open this sucker and drink quietly until Chas is gone." OK's are whispered back. Jimmy hefts the bottle, and is about to twist the cap when, somehow, the bottle slips from his hands.

Now, if they'd been on a street somewhere, the bottle would have smashed on the sidewalk, and that would have been the end of it--aside from some running. But they were in the woods. The bottle didn't break. It just hit the ground with a mild thud. Chas didn't even hear it. Unfortunately for Jimmy, Brad, and Connie, however, they were sitting on a pretty steep slope that was covered in pine needles. The bottle didn't stop when it hit the ground. It seemed, rather, to hit the ground and then take off down the hill, as if launched--directly towards Chas.

As the bottle is rolling down the hill it starts to make a bit of noise. It's bumping into trees, going through bushes, and bouncing around. Chas hears it and looks up the hill. Just as Chas says "Who's up--" Jimmy leaps up and begins chasing the bottle down the hill, bumping into trees, going through bushes, and bouncing around. "Fuck you, you old bastard" Jimmy yells, "we're coming for you!" As if on cue Brad and Connie jump up and begin charging down the hill.

Poor Old Chas doesn't know what's happening and runs away with a feeble "I'm callin' the cops on you kids!"

At the bottom of the hill they retrieve the whiskey. Jimmy's relieved to see Chas moving briskly toward the park entrance...