Bag of Gas

[Canada is] a lovely little country. I do recommend that you get free speech. It's a lot of fun.
--Ann Coulter, this week in Calgary

Seldom do we hear about an American conservative with a sense of irony. Really, Ann, you could have called us all a bunch of "faggots" if you'd liked, if that's your idea of "fun" and "free speech." It may well be technically against the law in Canada to go around calling people names. Being a country of "crazy liberals," however, you can rest assured that the Canadian court system would take your disadvantaged background (i.e. being American) into consideration. Canada's pretty tolerant that way, especially to people from developing countries like yours. We feel sorry for you, Ann. We pity you and your shitty health care system and your even shittier internet connections and your still shittier conception of "free speech." And when you're not looking, we laugh at you and make jokes. We wouldn't want to hurt your feelings. Discretion, after all, is the better part of "free speech."