My New Japanese Teacher

Aside from the general frustration surrounding the fact that I'm pretty incompetent when it comes to speaking the Japanese language, there is a more specific humiliation that arises on those occasions when I'm expected to write something in Japanese--like, my name, for example. Now don't get me wrong, I can read my name in katakana. In fact I can read anything in katakana and/or hiragana, as well as quite a bit in kanji. Writing it out is another story...

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Back in my school days teachers used to praise my penmanship ("Dumb as a doorknob, but his writing's quite legible, even pretty!"). I lost most of that skill in the 10 years or so between finishing high school and deciding to go to university. In particular, for the several years in which I pursued rock stardom, a certain practiced "illiteracy" was seen as career-enhancing among drummers (or, at the very least, it kept singers and guitar players from bothering you with their petty problems--"Why am I talking to you? A drummer couldn't possibly understand." More like a drummer couldn't possibly give a shit, really...).

In university I was a furious note-taker, able to transcribe entire lectures at will. It all came back! Not only that, but I added the Greek alphabet to my handwriting repertoire! Alas, my pen pyrotechnics were short-lived, and you can probably guess why. Writing my Master's thesis on a computer was the beginning of the end of my penmanship.

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Anyway, I'm quite familiar with two of the three Japanese scripts. My name is considered a "foreign word," so it should be written in katakana in Japan. I can do it. Slowly. Painstakingly. Embarrassingly. People turn away. People snicker. My "writing" in Japanese looks like something a two-year-old scrawled on the wall the first time he had a crayon in his hand. I know what people think when they see me writing: "This guy is a university teacher?" I slink away in shame...

A couple of weeks ago I happened to pick up a homework notebook of my daughter's. She's in the second grade of elementary school. As I leafed idly through her notebook (a kind of diary that she passes in everyday), I noticed that her Japanese handwriting was very nice...

She's a strict teacher, but generous with compliments when I do well! And she seems to enjoy our lessons as much as I do...