... Huh? Oh! Sorry!... Ya know folks, it's been quite some time since I've checked in with my good buddies at the Korean Central News Agency of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. Fuck, how I've missed those guys and the the antics they get up to. Fuck world peace, I say, if it in any way impedes the writing artistry of those artistic writers of writing artistry at the Korean Central News Agency of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. That's what I say!
But I digress! As you can imagine, what with dismantling nuclear programs and generally being forced to lick the boots of the running dog lackeys of the imperialist hordes just to get a sack of rice and a condom that doesn't leak, ol' Kim Jong Il has had to reign in those journalistic mad dogs over at the Korean Central News Agency of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. Yes, they've had to tone things down a bit recently. Or have they? I mean, they're not called the Korean Central News Agency of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea for nuthin', ya know! And Kim Jong Il ain't called the great leader who inspires the writing artistry of artistic writers for nuthin', either! No siree, Bob!
Why, just recently it was the great leader's birthday, and what better occasion for those brilliant purveyors of artistic artistry and writerly writing, the Korean Central News Agency of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, to strut their Stalinist stuff? Some highlights (completely unedited, or altered in any way by me) from a paean to the great leader, entitled "Kim Jong Il, Songun Commader with Unparalleled Courage and Grit" [they haven't quite mastered the art of html over there yet, so you may have to look around a bit for articles from Feb. 16]:
- Kim Jong Il, who was born in Mt. Paektu and grew up in battle sites rocked by gun reports, is a brilliant Songun commander with unparalleled courage and grit.
- It was in January Juche 57 (1968) when the U.S. imperialits' armed spy ship Pueblo was captured, which was an event that shook the world. Determined to seize the initiative in smashing the enemy's "retaliation", Kim Jong Il put forward concrete military countermeasures along with strategic and tactical plans to frustrate the "blitzkrieg" of the enemy at one blow in an event of war, thus making the arrogant U.S. imperialists shudder.
- In the first half of the 1990s when the sovereignty of the nation and the supreme interests of the country were facing a grave threat due to the U.S. nuclear blackmail and war adventure, the DPRK under his courage and grit declared a semi-war state and took the decisive step of quiting the NPT to crop the U.S. imperialists' feathers under the eye of the world.
- In the days when the destiny of the country was at stake, he played a yut-game with soldiers and taught them how to play it on his way to the front. And he wisely led grand socialist construction at its head with iron will and grit to continue construction till 12 o'clock tonight even though a war might break out tomorrow.
- His courage and grit always bringing victory, the army and people of Korea could launch into gigantic land rezoning and bring into being such grand edifices as the Anbyon Youth Power Station, the Youth Hero Motorway and Kumrung Tunnel No 2, overflowing with the optimism of sure victory in the days of untold difficulties.
When I read stuff like that, not only do sweet soul sounds stir my soul, but I also realize that, in the world of writing, if the Korean Central News Agency of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea are as like unto gods (heh), I am but a lowly dung beetle, and the libraries of the world are but my dung heap.
I toil on...