Monday, June 18, 2007

"Unspeakable horrors from outer space paralyze the living and resurrect the dead!"

Greetings, my friend. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future. You are interested in the unknown... the mysterious. The unexplainable. That is why you are here...

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The Ruler: Plan 9? Ah, yes. Plan 9 deals with the resurrection of the dead.

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Tanna: Eros, do we *have* to kill them?
Eros: Yes.
Tanna: It seems such a waste.
Eros: Well, wouldn't it be better to kill a few now than, with their meddling, permit them to destroy the entire universe?

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Paula Trent: ...A flying saucer? You mean the kind from up there?
Jeff Trent: Yeah, either that or its counterpart.

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Air Force Captain: Visits? That would indicate visitors.

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Colonel Tom Edwards: This is the most fantastic story I've ever heard.
Jeff Trent: And every word of it's true, too.
Colonel Tom Edwards: That's the fantastic part of it.

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Eros: You do not need guns.
Jeff Trent: Maybe we think we do.

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Colonel Tom Edwards: You speak of Solaranite. But just what is it?
Eros: Take a can of your gasoline. Say this can of gasoline is the sun. Now, you spread a thin line of it to a ball, representing the earth. Now, the gasoline represents the sunlight, the sun particles. Here we saturate the ball with the gasoline, the sunlight. Then we put a flame to the ball. The flame will speedily travel around the earth, back along the line of gasoline to the can, or the sun itself. It will explode this source and spread to every place that gasoline, our sunlight, touches. Explode the sunlight here, gentlemen, you explode the universe. Explode the sunlight here and a chain reaction will occur direct to the sun itself and to all the planets that sunlight touches, to every planet in the universe. This is why you must be stopped. This is why any means must be used to stop you. In a friendly manner or as (it seems) you want it.
Lieutenant John Harper: He's mad.
Tanna: Mad? Is it mad that you destroy other people to save yourselves? You have done this. Is it mad that one country must destroy another to save themselves? You have also done this. How then is it "mad" that one planet must destroy another who threatens the very existence-...
Eros: [shoves her roughly aside] That's enough.
[to the humans]
Eros: In my land, women are for advancing the race, not for fighting man's battles.

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Jeff Trent: Modern women. They've been like that all down through the ages. Especially in a spot like this.

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Can you prove that it didn't happen? [...] Perhaps, on your way home, someone will pass you in the dark, and you will never know it... for they will be from outer space.

[From Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959)]

6 comments:

  1. Um, you need an activity, k.

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  2. Heh, you mean like jogging, or something? ;-)

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  3. Is this like the 20 second version? Have you seen Ed Wood? I've always been tempted to watch Plan 9, after all anything that has gained the title of 'The worst film evr made' has got to be special.

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  4. Yes, the "Reader's Digest" version, although there is a kind of half-assed, subliminal joke going on in the post as well.

    I've seen Ed Wood (great movie), and I've seen most of (the "real") Ed Wood's "movies". I'm a big fan of Z-grade movies, so Ed Wood is something of a zen master as far as I'm concerned.

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  5. I think that whoever is able to come up with such ideas must not be that bad, since I never thought of analyzing the movie at this level.
    Great way to waste some free time!

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  6. UsualStuff,
    Ed Wood had a million ideas for movies, and was quite a character. I recommend the movie Ed Wood (starring Johnny Depp).

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