They're Both Much Better Than the Alternative...

Blogging friend Brendan writes,

Tell America why a Canadian living in Japan thinks Obama should be president. We'll need that by first thing tomorrow, EST.

Well, Brendan, I'm usually a bit skittish about discussing American politics here, because frankly I don't think I'm well-enough informed to have an opinion that I'd expect anyone to take too seriously. I'm also not really sure who would make the best president, Mr. Obama or Ms. Clinton. I will not hesitate to say this, however: whether it's Obama or Clinton is pretty much irrelevant to the rest of the world, so long as it's not Bush or one of the new crop of asshats in Bush's party. I think the current Japanese government prefers Obama (they see Ms. Clinton continuing Mr. Clinton's shifting of focus away from Japan towards China; they also, being asshats themselves, probably wouldn't know how to deal with a woman being the most powerful person in the world; I, on the other hand, don't mind if the woman is on top... er, of the political hierarchy...). My own gut feeling is that Obama represents an opportunity for real change, both inside and outside the US, whereas Clinton might just cause the Right (and their wingnut minions) to dig in their heels.

By the way, did you know that post-WWII Japan was a lot like a possible post-war Iraq, and the fact that some Japanese play American football gives us a reason to be optimistic about Iraq, and that Iraq could be the next Japan? Neither did I, but I guess anything is possible in the magical world of Wingnuttia.

What's This About "Aboot"?

In response to my desperate plea for writing suggestions, my blogging friend Tafkass (The Artist Formerly Known as Shit Sandwich, whose site seems to be experiencing intermittent technical difficulties this week) wrote the following:

How about a guide to Canadian pronunciation of English? OK, we all know about "aboot" (as it were), but there must be other Canuck idiosyncracies[*]... in fact, how about a guide to Canadio-Japanese pronunciation of English; your own must have been affected in your time in the land of the rising sun. Even better, how about some Canadian swearing?

Whew! Writing a "guide to Canadian pronunciation" would be a life-long task! Wikipedia has a pretty clear and concise entry on the topic of Canadian English which includes most of the main points regarding pronunciation. Some highlights:

• Canadians do not, in fact, pronounce the word "about" as "aboot", although because of the phenomenon known as Canadian raising, it may seem that way to some listeners. A closer approximation would be "aboat", but this is hardly universal.
• Canadians speak with a rhotic accent. That is, the letter "r" is pronounced in all positions. (My guess, Tafkass, Is that you speak with a non-rhotic accent, but I'm not sure where in the UK you were born and raised.)
• Personally, I can usually spot a fellow Canadian by his/her various pronunciations of the letter "a". The clearest examples would be in the pronunciation of foreign loan words like "drama" or "pasta" or "pyjamas", which is clearly neither British nor American (/æ/ rather than /ɑ/).
• As the Wikipedia article points out, "there is no single linguistic definition that includes Canada as a whole." And while "Canada has very little dialect diversity compared to the United States and other English speaking countries," it does have a wide range of accents, particularly in the eastern provinces, which have been influenced by the languages of early settlers. If you visit the various parts of my home province, Nova Scotia, for example, you will clearly hear traces of German (Lunenburg), Dutch (Truro, my hometown), French (Acadian settlements), and Scottish (everywhere, of course) accents, among several others.

With regard to a possible "Canadio-Japanese pronunciation of English," I can't really say whether or not my own pronunciation has been affected by living in Japan for the past 10 years. No one has ever commented on it, anyway. I will say this, however: I pronounce any Japanese vocabulary which has made its way into common English usage like a Japanese would. In fact, I now cringe when I hear how badly English speakers mangle words like "karaoke", "sake", "kamikaze", and "hara kiri". I don't think living in Japan has really changed my pronunciation of English, but it has had a definite affect on my phrasing and word choice when speaking, for perhaps obvious reasons. When those around one are not likely to understand complex sentences or "high-level" vocabulary, one is forced to simplify, simplify, and simplify some more. I also notice that I've developed an annoying habit of saying "do you understand?" and similar phrases even when I'm talking to other native speakers of English. I think this blog is, in a way, a revolt against that tendency. I'm writing ("speaking") to myself. I don't really give a shit if anyone else understands what I'm talking about, or not.

As for "Canadian swearing", so far as I know it's no different than "American swearing". At any rate, I have no trouble understanding the cursing in American movies, and I've never noticed that Americans have any difficulty understanding my swearing. One difference I've noticed between North American and UK swearing is in the use of the "c" word. That word is almost taboo in North American circles (certainly no guy who expects to date women can get away with saying it on any regular basis). It still seems to be in fairly regular use in the UK, however (please correct me if I'm wrong--I'm only going by British gangster movies and UK blogs!). I also think that UK speakers of English are a bit more creative in their swearing--choice of words, new coinages, etc. Good North American swearing relies on sheer volume, so that what initially sounds like a mindless string of curse words can, after a minute or so, attain the sublime. Swearers of all stripes also gain the respect and admiration of their listeners with unexpected grammatical flourishes. I was quite impressed the first time I saw "c**ting", as in "what a fucking c**ting c**t!"

[*] Really, Tafkass, I'm shocked, shocked, I say... ;-)

Your Suggestions Are Welcome!!

I've been whining for a while now about how I haven't been doing much in the way of actual writing over the past few months. I guess you could say that I'm whining right now (go ahead, say it!). I have to confess, folks, I'm at a loss. There's really not much that I feel like writing about right now. Yet I want to write something. I need to write something. Anything!

And so, gentle readers, in this most dire of circumstances, in my darkest hour, I'm reaching out to you. Yes, you. I beseech you, in the name of friendship and human decency (and before I start posting pictures of the soles of my shoes, or YouTube clips of old ABBA tunes, or..., well, you get the drift...)... I beseech you, kind readers, please help me!

I need your ideas, your suggestions for writing topics. No topic will be considered too difficult, too trivial, or too stupid. I will endeavor to write something about anything you care to suggest (if you think I'm just kidding about this, well then, just try me!).

Please leave your ideas/suggestions in the comments. My life is in your hands, dear readers, and I will do my best not to disappoint you!

Chuck Prophet-Automatic Blues