PSA: Emoticon-Live

[The following scene could be playing itself out anywhere in the world. Right now. As you're reading this. Anytime, really. Yesterday, even.]

A: Fuck, I hate literal-minded people.

B: What do you mean? Like, who?

A: That asshole roommate of mine. He's a fucking English major for Christ's sake, but he takes everything I say, I mean every-fucking-thing, literally.

B: Like what?

A: Oh, fuck... A couple of weeks ago I walked into the kitchen and he was pouring himself a glass of milk. I was actually in a good mood, and when I saw him having milk I just blurted out, "Hey! Real men don't drink milk, ya know?" I mean, I was just kidding around.

B: Yeah?

A: He was all, like, "Oh." That was it. He said, "Oh."

B: Hmmm... Maybe he didn't get that you were kidding around.

A: No fucking shit. Today I was pouring myself a glass of milk, and he came into the kitchen and when he saw me he got all serious and shit and said, "I thought you said real men didn't drink milk."

B: Really?

A: No shit. He looked at me as if I were the biggest, lying-est, sack of shit on the planet.

B: Fuck off.

A: I'm fucking serious, man.

B: What did you do?

A: What did I do? I looked at him as if he were the biggest, stupidest sack of shit on the planet. I mean, what the fuck? The guy studies Shakespeare and shit and he can't tell when someone's kidding around?

B: Maybe he was kidding around.

A: What? No... You think...?

[Insert plug for "Emoticon-Live" product here.]

PSA: A Message from Transport Canada

I don't know what it's like for Americans on domestic flights, but flying into the U.S. from a foreign country (any foreign country) has sucked ass for several years now. The flights suck, the airports suck, and the security sucks. It's a shitty experience. It's also a completely useless waste of time. And it's only getting worse with the passing of each day.

The War on Terror ended the day it began. You lost America.



"Transport Canada: A division of the US Dept. of Homeland Security." That was a nice touch.

PSA: "Come Play, My Lord"

If you happen to be cruising around the web and you come across something that looks like this:

Evony (and Ibory?)
Don't bother clicking, unless you're really into geeky, time-consuming, never-ending/open-ended role-playing games. I actually spent about ten minutes there (username: Rocknar--"Ragnar," my first (and obvious) choice, was already taken) looking in vain for the comely lass pictured above.

"Bored at office/class room/ home?" Come, my lord, and be bored online as well!

Talk about false advertising. Fortunately you, faithful readers, have me to do the dirty work for you.

Newsreading Tip

When you're reading a news story with a headline like 'Atlantis' spotted on ocean floor off Africa, if the story includes a picture of Patrick Duffy (The Man from Atlantis), there's a distinct possibility that the "facts" of the story are not to be trusted.