On Free Speech

I wonder... If I went into one of my classes and told my students that, actually, Japanese people really creep me out, and in fact it was all I could do from throwing up every time I was in their presence... I wonder, if my university fired me, would that be a violation of my right to free speech?

I mean, don't I have the right both to express my ideas *and* to get paid for them?

[DISCLAIMER: I don't have many readers here, but the few who do drop by have exceptional reading skills. For the reading-challenged: If + past tense verb generally indicates a second conditional sentence, referring to an *unreal* situation in the present. Please take note and then shut the fuck up.]

Grammarian, Heal Thyself

An overdue comeuppance...

From Strunk & White's The Elements of Style:

The subject of a sentence and the principal verb should not, as a rule, be separated by a phrase or clause that can be transferred to the beginning.

As if an over-abundance of unintentionally ironic and generally useless advice weren't enough, there's the just plain incompetent grammar. Witness the following alleged examples of the passive voice:

• There were a great number of dead leaves lying on the ground.
• It was not long before she was very sorry that she had said what she had.
• The reason that he left college was that his health became impaired.

I'd write more about this awful little book, but I generally make my worst grammar mistakes in the context of criticizing the grammar of others. Believe me, I'm talking real stinkers. I'd like to quit while I'm ahead. If anyone needs a stylebook, though, I'd recommend Hodges' Harbrace Handbook.