Things You Learn as You Get Older...

You know all that lame, stupid shit that used to drive you crazy when you were younger?

Guess what. You're doomed. Doomed, I say, to teach it to your kids.

Tonight, out of the fucking blue, I taught my daughter the "Chicken Dance."



You've gotta believe me. I had no fucking idea that I even knew the chicken dance. I was, like, just playing around with my kid and, next thing I knew, I was teaching her the chicken dance. What have I done? What kind of future am I giving my daughter?



[If you didn't at least crack a smile at that second video, well, have a nice day in hell! Thank you, YouTube.]